The other thing I get apart from detachment and blankness is an endless monologue observing how I am not being, how I am not there, how I am not responding. not connecting - sound familiar anyone? I know that it is possible not to have it there, because I do exist without it for months at a time, but when its there it just does not stop. And it is actually causing me pain although it doesn't feel like it at the time, because its constantly tellling me its nothing, I am nothing - but when it goes, and I can think and feel and connect again, then I realise how horribly painful it was. Strange business this.