[whiterabbit]

The other thing I get apart from detachment and blankness is an endless monologue observing how I am not being, how I am not there, how I am not responding. not connecting - sound familiar anyone? I know that it is possible not to have it there, because I do exist without it for months at a time, but when its there it just does not stop. And it is actually causing me pain although it doesn't feel like it at the time, because its constantly tellling me its nothing, I am nothing - but when it goes, and I can think and feel and connect again, then I realise how horribly painful it was. Strange business this.

 

[Guest]

trust me on this...you are not alone. i know EXACTLY what u mean

 

[M A R S]

This is me:

This is not real, Im in a dream, im crazy, and so on and so on

 

[Martinelv]

Abso-bloody-lutely. We hear ya' WR.

Obsessional rumination is a bugger. It's a tough lesson to learn that you can't run away from your own head, so it's not worth even trying.

 

[Sojourner]

This is not necessarily something that is not treatable, so I would recommend getting thoroughly checked out for known syndromes that doctors are familiar with.

 

[Martinelv]

What I mean to say is that, from an outside point of view, obsessional rumination is such a spectacular waste of mental time and energy. A lot of the time we are employed with trying to create techniques to stop the obsessional thoughts, but that is completely self-defeating - therefore you come to realise that you cannot run away from yourself and your own thoughts. It takes a surprisingly long time to realise this, well, it did in my pathetic case anyway.

DP and Obsessional thinking seem to be intimately entwined, for some reason that Janine could probably explain. Deal with one and you deal with the other. How? Search me.