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Removed from Sense of Motion

348 Views 0 Replies 1 Participant Last post by  Le9ase
One's sense of bodily position and of movement is proprioception, or kinesthesia. After DP onset it often felt like there was something compromised about how I move. Like not having natural, firm balance, not feeling paced with my limb utility, struggling to walk without looking awkward and hurting my soles, feeling heavy and slow, etc... To keep up with others, such as at work, I end up fitting square pegs into round holes and hurting myself.

I finally realized something today: I dissociate between the most minute or generic movements I make, and afterward it's as if I wasn't the one that moved. I get distanced from my body and it freaks me out. I literally never noticed I did this! It happens each day, but I always convinced myself I simply was unfocused, had random anxiety attacks, or was just a space cadet type of person. I really do just blank between most/all motions I make, which makes it extremely difficult to complete a series of movements or replicate a few. It affects my short term memory badly.

A solution comes when I consider what's between the most minute movements I make. To remind myself that I make the movements and that I need to remember my last 'step' so I don't get fogged out as badly. It sounds jacked up but it improves my conversation skills, too, 'cuz DP gets me stuttering and not finishing thoughts without excess effort. My anxiety nosedives, but doesn't disappear; in fact it returns every couple or so minutes, but it works very well to constantly pop the DP bubble for a short while. Today I thought too long of something that triggered me, and I suddenly stopped being able to feel my last or current body stances.

Anyone experience anything like forgetting your latest movements as or after you make them? And a feeling of terrible anxiety as a result? Like that's my life.
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