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I have recently realised what the reason for why my mind still feels like it's living in a story. I small part of me wants it that way. I know it sounds strange but I'm afraid of loosing that control, which is what my over analysing has done; taken control. I'm worried that if I let my impulses take control I'll take life for granted, waste time, make silly decisions and ultimately not appreciate life as well as I am right now. Right now I am able to appreciate little things because I think about them more, and feel overjoyed when I'm having a good day up in my head, too.
Does anyone else feel this way, or even similar? I find it hard to override this feeling with all the positives that will come with recovery. My logical way of thinking isn't actually that logical, it seems...sorry this post is a little wordy and unclear XD


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wise
Aug 05 2013 11:17 PM

Living within the confines that others have set for you doesn't allow you to really explore your life's purpose. It's safe, but ultimately dysfunctional and your dp symptoms are the guage of that. Through being adventurous and spontaneous, you get on the road to discovery of your life's purpose. Everyone's life purpose is to 'find themself' but some take this mission more seriously than others do. Being logical seems like the safe path, the less 'wasting time' path, but it's really not. We are told that being impulsive is bad but maybe it really isn't. It's really just our instinct trying to guide and give us hints, but we interpret it as something irrational and hedonistic because we've been taught that when something comes too easy it's 'the easy way' so it can't be the right way. Listening to our inner voice and trusting it is pretty much the key to everything.


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lmfay
Aug 06 2013 03:06 PM

Thank you so much. You've really put it in perspective. Hopefully I'll be able to find a healthy balance of the two other wise I'll be out of control, or neurotically too in control :') Did you personally find a similar issue? Or are you just as your name implies, wise? XD


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wise
Aug 07 2013 12:21 AM

I was stricken with dp because I was simply not living life as it's meant to be lived. The misery of not knowing how to keep it in check forced me to look for answers. The conclusion that I have come to is that we all have inner wisdom that we need to tap into, it's our instincts and intuition. Personally, by ignoring my intuition, I got stuck in this martyring, selfless role, I became a person who was a glutton for punishment and it took dp happening to me to make me realize that how I was wasn't doing me any good. So I basically had to learn the hard way, via getting dp, to put myself first. But had I been more perceptive to my intuition, I wouldn't have had to learn the value of intuition the hard way.
 
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