[Tomisahoss]

My girlfriend and I have been drifting the past couple weeks. We've been dating fir six months. My dpdr is always bad but my actual mental health has been terrible the past month or so. I screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs the other night until I could hardly speak. I think Im just spending all of my emotional energy on myself. Im absolutely obsessed with how I feel. Its hard to feel love for her because I dont have anything left for her. Is this something you have felt, or an excuse that I have made up?

 

[Speedy69]

It’s is hard to maintain a relationship with someone you love because your only focus is dp/dr and wanting to get better. It’s hard to love someone when you don’t even feel emotions sometimes. You just feel bad and scared all the time. Most ppl who don’t have anxiety, depression, dp/dr will find it hard to understand and find it hard to give the love and care for the person suffering but relationships can be very helpful in pulling yourself out of dp/dr. You can start to focus on your relationship more. Force yourself to do things with you gf. Go places with them. Focus al your attention on making them happy. In return it will distance yourself from the condition.

 

[Al_pk]

Honestly, I found that DPDR and serious relationships are a poor mix. Sadly, when I had my breakdown a few years ago I had to end my relationship of 4 years a few months after as the strain was too much. To this day, I don't know if I just fell out of love with her, or if it was anxiety robbing me of my capacity to feel although I feel it was the former. But either way there was nothing left, she was angry with me a lot because I wasn't talking much or asking about her day, low sex drive. And in return I felt pissed off that she was laying all this stuff on me when I was critically unwell. I was just an anxiety ridden shell who couldn't match the expectations of my partner and the requirements of a relationship. I absolutely HAD to think of myself, and ending It was the right thing to do. That said, when I became a little better I started seeing another woman and the casual nature of it, and with no demands or pressure, suited me right down. It was perfect for dp recovery and just the right amount of distraction, and she was also incredibly hot, lol. I've been Mr. casual ever since and that was years ago now, absolute commitment-phobe because of it all. I have kind of a paranoia that if I enter into a relationship like that again then the DP numb side of me will just ruin it all. I wish your relationship all the best, but don't be surprised if it goes a little south. This is just life sometimes, unfortunately.

 

[Speedy69]

I agree. The expectations that someone wants from you when your so sick is tough. It comes off as selfish in my opinion. You wouldn’t throw all kinds of pressure on someone suffering with cancer so why would someone throw all the pressure on you when you are battling DPDR? But some ppl do and it’s tough so sometimes ending it may be the best thing if it means you can heal. For some ppl relationships help them through all this. I guess it just depends on how understanding the person is.

 

[Al_pk]

My ex was hung up on how things should be and comparing us to her friends relationships and so she couldn't deal with the situation as it was. I remember one day i was trying to explain why i was dropping the ball on so much stuff she just screamed at me "oh you're always fucking ill"... was like well yeah this shit doesn't have an off switch i woulda pressed it by now. It wasn't a sustainable situation for me personally

 

[PerfectFifth]

No relationship, no relationship issues. But yes, previously when I had one, DPDR more or less wrecked my relationship. When you're constantly suffering, you're not much relationship material.