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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
im 20 years old now. my whole life ive had anxiety and sometimes didnt go to school because a mere headache would make me want to stay at home around those days i didnt know it was anxiety. at 15 i took an edible i was handing the high pretty well although i felt strange 2 weeks later i felt my first ever panic attack i was like oh no is this the drug ?!?! i then told my mom i felt like i was in a dream... this went on for 3 months. after that i developed visual snow !!! i was like what is this, so another problem came. in about 8 months i beat dp somehow and lived 4 years like it was a memory and even drank and smoked weed again (stupid of me) until at 20 dpdr came back with the existential thoughts always coming in (i havent touched weed in 8 months prior to this)

-my symptoms right now

racing thoughts

visual snow

buzzing ears

fear of going crazy (ill start hallucinating and hearing things)

flashbacks of weed edible(ptsd)

intrusive thoughts

feeling like my loved ones are robots

-ideas that scares me

when people here say they are dead, what if we are another case for those horror movies.

existence itself.

did that one weed edible from when i was 15 ruin my life.

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You can be sure that it isn't the weed that ruined your life. Drugs are almost always just a trigger for depersonalisation and derealisation, but the underlying issue is the anxiety itself. Furthermore, it is the source of anxiety, usually found deep in the childhood, that must be addressed if you are to recover. Wish you all the best, love is the key.
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