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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like im in a weird stage of recovery where i cant tell if im truely feeling normal or not. Im constantly self checking, reality checking. Ill be absorbed in something im doing which feels normal and then once i am back to my own thoughts, i feel it still there but i dont have as much fear about those thoughts feelings or sensations as much anymore but sometimes they freak me out again. Its wierd when i feel more normal, its like i forget what dpdr feels like and on the other hand when i slip back into it, i forget what its like being normal...its so strange and confusing. Makes me a little nervous, not gonna lie. I still get mildly disoriented or confused as to whats happening around me when dpdr hits mildly again. Uuugh...
 

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I hate the stage your in because it's a limbo like feeling like your ok but not really yourself yet .
It's hard cause you're had DP dr DC so long that normal is forgotten , how you felt before it all started is long forgotten .
I described it when I went though this as feeling normal but something was still just off about me or life kinda like a small piece of the puzzle in me was still missing..
I've read tons of recovery posts on here and other forums about this stage and they all say the same thing as I've described here .
When I went though this stage I tried hard to live like normal , which I did do but I think my mistake was I couldn't get over the stage I was in it drove me crazy wondering weather it was still DP or dr or was I just back to normal me , i couldn't tell 100% so it drove me nuts figuring it out...
I feel your pain
Look over some off the recovery stories on here you will find simpler posts like yours ..
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the feedback. It feels better knowing its a stage in recovery. I constantly question, doubt or wonder if certain things accually happened, espessially stressful things. I even doubt if my dpdr is real sometimes. Sometimes my memory is completely shot too or just plain confused.
 

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I think ive improved some since i first posted this but just curious, how long does this last generally?
10 years for me so far, and it's gotten significantly worse in the past 1 year (which is also why I'm browsing these forums again.)

Honestly, though, I don't think there's any "generally" for something like this. Not even the cause of this disease is known. It's impossible to answer that question because it varies so much from person to person, as evident from posts of the people who post here.

EDIT: Ah, you meant this stage of recovery. I suppose that narrows it down a bit. My apologies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Ive noticed i get slightly worse again at night. I hate it cause all i wanna do is close my eyes and drift off satisfyingly but as soon as my eyes shut, its instant confusion and anxiety and more overthinking and thus dpdr. Then i open my eyes and its worse again. And then its like this vicious cycle till early morning hours. Idk why this is worse when im super tired??? Its super annoying and still scary (prob from anxiety)
 
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