[danny]

Heya

I thought I would put this in this section as it might get more views than in regaining reality.

What I would like to know is that for those who have recovered (if there are any of you still checking this forum), do you never have those existence thoughts which seem to trigger bad dp for me? Do you never feel detached at all, or do you manage to control those thoughts so as to keep those thoughts supressed?

I had an awesome day, dp free for about hrs while me and my housemates cleaned our house having to move out next week, but as soon as I started chilling out, bang, those thoughts came back then the dp set in for its usual annoyance! Do you never have those thoughts, or do you learn to ignore them when they crop up?

Thanks

Dan

 

[bright23]

what troubling "existence thoughts" exactly?

I guess an easy answer if I get your drift is I did a lot of reading over the years and discovered that a lot of people puzzled over difficult, out there thoughts. I read for years and saturated myself with the most out there thinking I could find, until it became quite normal and second nature.

Then I stopped thinking about it. What was immediately in front of me began consuming more and more of my interest. I was making my way back to the world.

The most anxious thought that occasionally pops up even now, that comes closest to provoking DP-type feeling, is the thought ? "Why the Universe? Why does anything exist?" This question feels so huge, so I investigate its opposite ? and then I imagine no Universe had ever existed. And I feel it deep in my bones. Everything disappears EVERYTHING.

That's the only thought capable of giving me the heebie-jeebies.

Everything else is a walk in a park, and when I'm particularily cocky, even death doesn't freak me. Because I know something now. Couldn't express to you in words what it is, but its a sense of relief at the very least.

But... if DP came knocking tomorrow (haven't heard from it in 7 years) I have no idea how it would be for me.

 

[ret]

What exactly are existential thoughts anyway??

I've always wondered what the definition is... anyone?

 

[Monkeydust]

Reticent

Existential is an adjective deriving from the noun "existence". Essentially it's all the questions about existence which people with DP seem to indulge in to their own detriment: "is this life real?", "how do I know anything exists outside my mind"? or the more elaborate "how do i know if my memories are really mine and i haven't just come into existence recently with these memories implanted falsely?". That kinda stuff is what we're getting at.

As to the main question, from someone who's (sort of) a little recovered these days I can say that I don't have those thoughts that much anymore - mainly because I don't really care about the answers anymore; they're not important to me. When I do think existentially, however, it doesn't seem to "trigger" anything.

 

[Guest]

Monkeydust,
I am glad that you brought this up first, because sometimes it is so unnerving to admit to something that you think or feel that is somewhat off the beaten path and have people act like that have no idea what you are talking about. I feel like these thoughts have consumed me, and I would love to find away out of this "thinking" all the time. Any hints??????
Take care of your self.
Kate

 

[Guest]

I can try to answer this, but I know as I type it that when I was still totally consumed by those thoughts that this sort of reply would have made NO sense to me at all.

I don't think about it at all now. I CAN, like now...if someone brings it up, I certainly can engage in a debate or discussion about infinity, life after death, the meaning of reality, the meaning of human consciousness, etc.

But in my life right now, it all just has no "punch" for me unless I'm in a conversation about it. I'd rather think about other things, other kinds of less bizarre fantasies (or equally bizarre, but not as disturbing)

I used to believe I could NEVER live in a world even remotely happily while those Unknowns about the universe remained unreachable. Now? That seems comical to me. There ARE unknowns - I could sit here now and think "damn, I have no idea if I am going to die some utterly horrible death, on top of the fact that I have no clue what happens AFTER that..." and work myself up into a worried frenzy. But I know - finally I COMPLETELY KNOW that I will never find a solution for it.

There are no answers. That's why they call it the Unknown, grin.

When I was consumed by the ideas, deep down, SOMEwhere in my psyche, I actually thought I coudl find either answers or some way of consoling myself with just the right thought.

No such thing.

When we truly give up any hope that there is ANY way to soothe ourselves from the Unknown and its In Your Face reality, we can begin to make the best of life. But the hope that we can figure it out, or can find a way to make it acceptable...that keeps you thinking and thinking and scaring yourself into the abyss. And there is no bottom, guys...

deeper
and
deeper
and deeper

and you will still drop dead one day, lol

Peace,
Janine

 

[Monkeydust]

Monkeydust,
I am glad that you brought this up first, because sometimes it is so unnerving to admit to something that you think or feel that is somewhat off the beaten path and have people act like that have no idea what you are talking about. I feel like these thoughts have consumed me, and I would love to find away out of this "thinking" all the time. Any hints??????
Take care of your self.
Kate

For a start, I've found the worst way to go about it is to try not to think about them. If you're sitting there going "don't think this, don't think this", you're only going to entice your mind to dwell on something that you somehow deem important in the long-run.

If such thoughts come to your mind, and if you find them troubling, all I can suggest is what I tried and what works for me. This is one of two things:

1. Distraction. As soon as you start pondering all these existential points quickly "snap out of it" and focus on something else. Anything will do, just get your attention elsewhere so you try to "unlearn" the habit of dwelling on this stuff.

2. Just accept that you can't find the answers to these questions. If you start thinking about them, ponder for a little, but realize that it's not going to get you very far. If you always bear in mind the fact that you're not going to find the answers the attraction of trying to look for them gradually goes away.

Hopefully that helps a little.