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357 Posts
If you're new to DPSELFHELP, welcome. About me: got severe dp / dr back in 2013. I used to hang out on this forum A LOT. I would very slowly see myself getting better with time, with each wave hitting with reduced intensity and returning to a lower baseline. You can check my older posts to see my history on this forum.
As I am currently entering a very hard, different kind of battle (father's blood cancer diagnosis), I thought it would be a good idea to return here and post about my personal battle and ultimate victory. I remember reading those. Recovery stories were my only source of hope; So I returned (possibly for the last time) to give you mine.
My dp started in 2022. After a period of panic attacks, my brain "gave in". I remember waking up one afternoon feeling "off" - "like my head was disconnected", "0 emotions", "inside an invisible bubble". I was a university student and despite previously being sharp, due to brain fog, I found it borderline impossible to comprehend even simple concepts (I studied physics at the time).
My life started going downhill for a few month. Stopped working out. Stopped my studies. I just hang out on this forum, looking for reassurance that I haven't lost the ability to FEEL.
Recovery didn't happen overnight. I did "snap into" dp, but you don't "snap out". You live your life and it goes away, very slowly, but it does. I remember the first signs of recovery happened in the optics lab at the university I was attending. Some guy told me to "move it" while I was reading a manual and blocked his way. I wanted to stab the cunt - and that's the first emotion I felt after a few month of darkness. RAGE.
Ironically, I was so encouraged that day I was able to FEEL SOMETHING, I called my friends and made plans to go out - after months of almost isolation.
This small incident was followed by a 5 years long roller-coaster ride of awful, ok and great days. But as the months went by, the trend was clear - I was on my way out.
Some things I learned along the way, with regards to dp dr:
1) when you have dp, it seems like you will have this forever. It's the underlying anxiety that tricks you to think that way.
2) recovery from dp should not be passive. Don't just wait it out. You should FORCE yourself to socialize. Start a project you are passionate about. Start treating your underlying anxiety and depression with professional help (I took sertraline 50 mg/day).
3) physical exercise is a must for overall health and mental health in particular
4) avoid sugars and alcohol at all costs.
5) coffee in the mornings is a great way to start the day
6) your mental capacity will be restored to the way it used to be as the brain fog subsides
If you just got dp dr, my heart goes out to you. I remember just how much I suffered. I hope this post gave you a ray of hope. Please remember - you will get better.
As I am currently entering a very hard, different kind of battle (father's blood cancer diagnosis), I thought it would be a good idea to return here and post about my personal battle and ultimate victory. I remember reading those. Recovery stories were my only source of hope; So I returned (possibly for the last time) to give you mine.
My dp started in 2022. After a period of panic attacks, my brain "gave in". I remember waking up one afternoon feeling "off" - "like my head was disconnected", "0 emotions", "inside an invisible bubble". I was a university student and despite previously being sharp, due to brain fog, I found it borderline impossible to comprehend even simple concepts (I studied physics at the time).
My life started going downhill for a few month. Stopped working out. Stopped my studies. I just hang out on this forum, looking for reassurance that I haven't lost the ability to FEEL.
Recovery didn't happen overnight. I did "snap into" dp, but you don't "snap out". You live your life and it goes away, very slowly, but it does. I remember the first signs of recovery happened in the optics lab at the university I was attending. Some guy told me to "move it" while I was reading a manual and blocked his way. I wanted to stab the cunt - and that's the first emotion I felt after a few month of darkness. RAGE.
Ironically, I was so encouraged that day I was able to FEEL SOMETHING, I called my friends and made plans to go out - after months of almost isolation.
This small incident was followed by a 5 years long roller-coaster ride of awful, ok and great days. But as the months went by, the trend was clear - I was on my way out.
Some things I learned along the way, with regards to dp dr:
1) when you have dp, it seems like you will have this forever. It's the underlying anxiety that tricks you to think that way.
2) recovery from dp should not be passive. Don't just wait it out. You should FORCE yourself to socialize. Start a project you are passionate about. Start treating your underlying anxiety and depression with professional help (I took sertraline 50 mg/day).
3) physical exercise is a must for overall health and mental health in particular
4) avoid sugars and alcohol at all costs.
5) coffee in the mornings is a great way to start the day
6) your mental capacity will be restored to the way it used to be as the brain fog subsides
If you just got dp dr, my heart goes out to you. I remember just how much I suffered. I hope this post gave you a ray of hope. Please remember - you will get better.
