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Hey yall im not going to retell my story since yall can find it in my previous posts. In this post im gon be tellin yall about my experience of a relapse after recovery and then recovering 100% again after that and since Im recovered now and got so much shit goin on in life, imma keep it concise. With that being said though, I am posting because I hope that I can inspire some of those who are still in DPDR and are not sure of recovery, as I truly understand how it felt when I had it full on 24/7 for like 8 months.
What caused the relapse
I went to a 10 day SN Goenka meditation retreat. Even though I LOVE meditating and has found significant benefits from it in my life, I do advise against these types of what I would call "hardcore" meditations for people like us who are more prone to stress, anxiety and got so much more shit going on in our heads than the normal average person. The latter is just facts, it may not necessarily be how we are born with it or how we have made ourselves into this way through our life experiences but the fact is this is the state we are in right now and although I believe that it does not have to be this way forever, we just have to accept that for now. And its better to not agitate our conditions if we can do so.
For details of the relapse: on the 5th day of the retreat during an hour long meditation session I suffered a huge panic attack which Ive never had in about a year leading up to then, which lead to a relapse into dpdr, persistently, although not as severe.
How I recovered again
I immediately left the retreat before the 10 day mark and visited my psychiatrist who switched my medication from Fluoxetine 20mg to Escitalopram 10mg along with Lamotrigine 25mg. He also gave me 0.5mg of Clonazepam to take before sleep to ensure that I could sleep well (WHICH IS A HUGE CONTRIBUTOR TO RECOVERY). For about a month the dpdr improved to about 90% and kept at that level for a while. Until I had to change my psychiatrist due to financial issues. The new psych put me on the same meds except for Clonazepam which he switched to Quetiapine 25mg for sleep. Again, only FOR sleep (if I felt like I couldnt sleep) and not every night before bed, this was also the case for clonazepam (the doc would give me like 10 pills for a 30day prescription and check-up schedule). Immediately after that, I tried the quetiapine for sleep the same day I got the prescription and slept like a fucking olympic sleeper. Woke up the next day the dp was 100% gone, nowhere to be seen. I have never taken another Quetiapine since and still I am recovered 100% to this day, my anxiety and shit is also gone which I think is cuz of the Escitalopram.
Thats all folks.
Ps. this was not concise as I intended it to be at all wtf lol
What caused the relapse
I went to a 10 day SN Goenka meditation retreat. Even though I LOVE meditating and has found significant benefits from it in my life, I do advise against these types of what I would call "hardcore" meditations for people like us who are more prone to stress, anxiety and got so much more shit going on in our heads than the normal average person. The latter is just facts, it may not necessarily be how we are born with it or how we have made ourselves into this way through our life experiences but the fact is this is the state we are in right now and although I believe that it does not have to be this way forever, we just have to accept that for now. And its better to not agitate our conditions if we can do so.
For details of the relapse: on the 5th day of the retreat during an hour long meditation session I suffered a huge panic attack which Ive never had in about a year leading up to then, which lead to a relapse into dpdr, persistently, although not as severe.
How I recovered again
I immediately left the retreat before the 10 day mark and visited my psychiatrist who switched my medication from Fluoxetine 20mg to Escitalopram 10mg along with Lamotrigine 25mg. He also gave me 0.5mg of Clonazepam to take before sleep to ensure that I could sleep well (WHICH IS A HUGE CONTRIBUTOR TO RECOVERY). For about a month the dpdr improved to about 90% and kept at that level for a while. Until I had to change my psychiatrist due to financial issues. The new psych put me on the same meds except for Clonazepam which he switched to Quetiapine 25mg for sleep. Again, only FOR sleep (if I felt like I couldnt sleep) and not every night before bed, this was also the case for clonazepam (the doc would give me like 10 pills for a 30day prescription and check-up schedule). Immediately after that, I tried the quetiapine for sleep the same day I got the prescription and slept like a fucking olympic sleeper. Woke up the next day the dp was 100% gone, nowhere to be seen. I have never taken another Quetiapine since and still I am recovered 100% to this day, my anxiety and shit is also gone which I think is cuz of the Escitalopram.
Thats all folks.
Ps. this was not concise as I intended it to be at all wtf lol
