[Iva1302]

I’ve been on my recovery journey. I developed dpdr a month ago from immense stress and health anxiety. My stomach was hurting for 2 months and because I study abroad, I was living alone and I basically convinced myself that I’m dying.I genuinely believed it was over for me for 2 months even after doing all sorts of test and everything was fine.Anyway,I came back to my parents for Christmas break but I was sick for 2 weeks and I basically didn’t feel rested at all. I then went back to my uni and the moment I came into my uni flat I broke down and my derealization hit. I’ve had derealization 4 years ago induced by panic attacks but it was never combined with Dp and existential thoughts. I dropped out and came back home to my parents. The first few weeks I had all sorts of symptoms,I probably had every single one out there. I gradually started to recover by accepting and not fearing the thoughts(this came after a couple of episodes,be patient with yourself,acceptance doesn’t happen over night). I will share the steps after I fully recover. Anyways,I started feeling more normal. However, I quickly started to notice that even if I felt normal it’s almost like I am not ready to feel normal. Like,yes I started having 3D vision and feeling more like myself with every passing day.But life still feels bizarre to me.It feels like I’m still in a dream but just no visual symptoms.Its just a feeling of not belonging in this life rn and I don’t know if that’s normal when you recover.But things feel off and the more I think about life the more bizarre it looks.It feels like for the past month of dpdr I’ve been dead and now living seems very unnatural and foreign to me. I really don’t know if I’m making progress or just falling deeper into something that I’m not aware of right now. I also get only 7 hours of sleep so I guess that also contributes but I get a lot of anxiety and wild thought when trying to fall asleep.
I try to socialize and I confirm that all of the “distract yourself” advices are actually true. Socializing really does make a difference but yesterday when I was with my best friend I kept thinking “wow this is so absurd and pointless”(life). Life just feels very new and foreign right now.
Sorry for my little rant, I just need some advice and maybe encouragement to know if this is a normal sign of recovery.Keep fighting guys, there is a way out!

 

[marduk]

Hello there!
For my two times that i recovered from this the final stage was definitly the hardest and longest stage. I could make some rapid progress symptomwise only to fall back into it because it was never completely gone. When i actually recovered the first time i didnt realize it until after the symptoms had been gone for closer to a month. It might be that final bit of self doubt that keeps holding you back. Seems like you are close to the finishing line but give it time and patience.