I browsed these forums frequently when I was going through severe DPDR. It first started when I was 16 after having an intense panic attack, and I suffered for around 3 years. Looking through these posts again, I remember relating to every single one. I thought there was no hope for me, I was terrified, I thought my life might as well be over and that my brain was permanently broken. I had frequent intrusive thoughts that I was going crazy, that nothing is real, that I had died and become a ghost, etc. I couldnt recognize myself or my loved ones. I felt alone, less than alone, because I felt as though I had physically and mentally lost myself. Trust me, I absolutely know how you feel. I know the deepest state of fear that DPDR can put you in, and I truly believed there was no hope for me to recover. But I’m back again to tell you, that there is hope, and that you will be okay. Im in my 20s now and for over a year I have finally felt alive and real. I feel complete confidence in my reality. I recognize myself and my loved ones, and I finally feel that sensation of grounded-ness that I had taken for granted before DPDR.
I remember reading posts like the one I’m typing now and thinking “these words will never apply to me, I wont ever recover.” But please believe me when I say that you are real, you are valid, you arent alone, and you WILL be okay. It may take time, and I know how terrifying and difficult it is. But if I could push through it, I promise that you will be able to as well.
I was in a very deep state of DPDR and I was suicidal. I had lost all hope. But hope does not rely on your belief in it, it exists for all of you regardless of faith. I wish you all well and I believe in you, I know you will all be okay. You are all valid and real human beings, even if it seems impossible to believe.
I am so grateful for this community for helping me through the difficult years. Peace and love