[M A R S]

I feel like I'm losing it, it like I'm in super reality. I feel like I'm going to forget who i am or what I'm doing. I'm freaking out that people i know and love will become strangers to me.

When my wife comes home i freak out. I feel like she is strange to me. I'm obsessing over things that don't make any sense. My hart races and flutters.

I feel alone and isolated, i freak out that i might not be able to speak. When i go on a job i feel like I'm crazy and I'm not in realty.

I feel like I'm freaking out even when I'm asleep. I feel like I'm forgetting what normal was. What i used to be. Or if i was even normal at all.

I put the news on and feel like the world is over. This country is making me freak out more and more every day.

My Friends don't care, some even make my life worse...

Some times i feel like I'm going to cry and just faint.

 

[Sojourner]

Chances are good that if you cry you will feel enormous release. It's often easier to do that if we are talking in person to a sympathetic and understanding person, which is why therapy is recommended -- not "rational" therapy, but psychoanalytic therapy, in which your emotions -- the very things that are actually bothering you -- are not swept under the rug and disdained but are respected and allowed to heal you.

The very emotions inside you that are now causing you grief are the very same ones that will heal you. Do you hear this paradox?

Get with a therapist who can facilitate your totally free emotional expression with him/her. In the safety of the presence of someone who cares and understands, you will find crying one of the greatest gifts in the universe. I promise you.

 

[Martinelv]

Space - it's not just anxiety (although that might be the trigger), you are suffering from DR/DP, and most probably depression and panic. OK ? I know it's a label, but it is something to hang your uncertainty on until you can start to get better. And you can, and will. You are not going to lose it. You are not going to be like this all your life.

This crap doesn't go away on it's own, and I'm not suggesting you aren't doing anything, but when we are in the throes of this quasi-madness, what we often do isn't the right thing. What are you trying to do about it? Are you on med's ? Have you got mental health support, psychologist, CBT? If you get back with the details then I'm 100% sure that people on here will be able to help or at least point you in the right direction. !

Take care buddy.

 

[kchendrix]

I agree with Martin....Anxiety is the Trigger.. I know you saw my other posts, these things you list they are what you are FEELING, but don't feed these feelings, try very hard not to obsess on them, all though that is what we tend to do...

IE My wife looks strange to me....or things look out of skew... yes that is how you are perceiving them do to the anxiety.... I know for me if I obsess on the feeling or it just compounds it, if I accept and say whats the worst thing that will happen,, I will loose my identity.... If I do loose my identity I won't know it... but if I focus on and feed that fear of loosing my identity, i rush my self in to a worse state of being. It is easier to say all this then to do it. I do go to a Pyschologist each week faithfuly, and I have been up and down with this thing, and he has convinced me that acceptance and not actual battle will help. If you broke your leg you wouldn't fight the cast , you might not like the cast but you wouldn't postpone your healing by taking it off with a hammer.

You would accept you had to wear a cast for 6 mos or what ever and then have it removed.

What I am doing now , when things look wierd is saying to myself ok my anxiety has triggered this, the way I am perceiving this right now is strange, but I am not going to feed it fear and make it bigger then what it is.

I have recently had trouble with heart fluttering.. PVCs It is frightening, but if I feed it more fear they get worse. IF I say ok there was one, the doc says they are benign... lets just get through it and not feed it the fear they tend to die down.

That is why I posted my stand in writing to not feed my monster anymore, it may be a part of me, but I don't have to buy into the fear, I am hoping with practice this attitude becomes 2nd nature and fear gets less and less time from me. I don't want to live in constant fear any longer, and I believe in time this fear will completely subside, that I will recover nicely. It is a work in progress and though it is depressing and time consuming I know who I once was, and I know that I can be back to that again.

I hope this helps a little. I am no genious or anything , but I do care about all my friends here and hope that I can be at least a bit of comfort for you in the storm.

KC