Depersonalization Support Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts
G

·
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
About 2 months ago I smoked weed for the first time with a few friends. After I smoked it, I started "seeing" people floating almost, experienced a very fast heartbeat, had a desire to run away but I didn?t know where and had an intense fear of blocking out and not being able to re-enter the reality which I knew before panic. I felt as if everything around me was a cartoon and like I was losing my mind. This feeling lasted for about an hour but I felt like I was blacking out and like time was moving so slowly that it felt like 12 hours to me.

A few days after the cannabis use, I started getting dizzy, started hyperventilating, started seeing distorted images of people (as if they looked unfamiliar) and convinced myself that I was going insane and this was the end of me. These symptoms lasted 24/7. I began being afraid of looking at my parents since they looked distorted and of speaking to anyone since I was afraid that I would say something insane and be automatically admitted to a psychiatric ward. In addition, sometimes when I spoke I felt as if I heard myself speak. This scared me since I thought that maybe I was developing schizophrenia.

I went to a psychologist who said it?s just anxiety and panic attacks. Then 2 weeks ago, I decided to just let all of the physical symptoms happen. Almost all of the symptoms went away but a few days ago I started experiencing increased anxiety and now feel as if everything around me looks different and like I can?t even recall what happened yesterday or last week. I am able to recall events but I feel as if it?s all been one long day and I?m trapped in some psychosis and am losing my memories and connection to others. Is this derealization / depersonification? Does it ever go away? I feel like I?m not myself, like the past 2 months someone else experienced everything instead of me, almost like my body is possessed. Also, I am afraid that I am slipping into sanity or will really soon. Last night when I was falling asleep I was drifting into some weird dream and I felt as if I heard people speaking. This made me scared since I assumed that maybe I have auditory hallucinations. Sometimes I also feel like my thoughts are racing independently from me. How do I stop this? Is this ever going to go away?

Please help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,079 Posts
There are people on this board who have been cured from DP. I, unfortunately, am not one of them. But then again my DP wasn't drug-induced and it started at a very young age. And I just figured out what it was last year. But anyways... seeing as you have not had this for too long I think you will be fine. Maybe get some cognitive behavioral therapy and see a psychiatrist. More helpful replies will come soon. :?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
52 Posts
How do I stop this? Is this ever going to go away?
hi hope i can answer this question myself. its been almost a year and a half and still i doint know if it is gone or is going away... i totally understand your situatio now, i know how it feels the first few months... being totally convinced that you are going insane or sumthing.. just hold on and you will find your own way out or around it, everybody is different, so no solution is the same--- god bless
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
369 Posts
yes, what you are experiencing is classic DPDR and yes, many people here have what you describe. It does go away with time. Keep in mind, if you keep obssessing about going crazy and worrying about your health and the "wierdness" of it all, you will keep yourself sick longer. Just try to not think about it, and go on with your life even if its wierd. You are not going crazy and I would bet all my money in my bank account you are not.
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the comments. I really convinced myself that I probably have schizophrenia or something similar to it since the symptoms puzzled and scared me so much. I hope I will be able to control my analytical nature and get over this
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
109 Posts
Hi there Tidal, your not schizo!, you suffer from drug-induced anxiety/DP-DR. The excact same thing you described happended to me and I know it's scarry as hell. Believe me, it's important not to worry about it altough this is very hard since DP is scary as hell! I did a lot of research on the internet, went to a psy and started taking paxil a few months ago. Now i'm doing a lot better. I can tell you that you're lucky to find out about your DP 2 weeks after the onset. There is enough change it wil go away. Success
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
One of my other concerns are instrusive thoughts. Does anyone else have repeated sentences or random words pop up in their heads throughout the day? I was worried that maybe it was a sign of split/multiple personality since I literally hear myself think and sometimes feel like I have no control over my own thoughts and have some internal mental battles going on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
413 Posts
Tidal said:
One of my other concerns are instrusive thoughts. Does anyone else have repeated sentences or random words pop up in their heads throughout the day? I was worried that maybe it was a sign of split/multiple personality since I literally hear myself think and sometimes feel like I have no control over my own thoughts and have some internal mental battles going on.
i have this all the time...

you are definately not alone....

wish i could be more help than that...

take care of yourself :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
749 Posts
internal monolgue......IT IS HELL....

i think all dper suffer with is.....i get some right rubbish passing through my mind, i have arguments with myself in my own head....its so dull,and no matter what i do the thoughts always pop up.....its awful but i wouldnt say you have a split personality its just obssesive thinking :?
 
G

·
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I think my "internal monologue" started after a friend of mine was commenting on the fact that people often speak to themselves outloud but that they must be mentally ill if they also respond to themselves. Now, I know that it was meant to be a joke but anything that has to do with mental illnesses has an impact on me (since my anxiety caused me to question my own sanity). Hence, as soon as I heard her say it, I started monitoring my own thoughts and trying to see if I "speak to myself". I know how ridiculous this all seems when you read it, but I feel like a part of me wants to answer my own thoughts just to prove to myself that there is SOMETHING wrong with me. Is this normal? I mean, I don't have any delusions and hallucinations so I'm tempted to believe that I'm self-inflicting these things and thoughts.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top