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Hey everyone! Sucks were all feeling this way, but I hope for quick healing for all of us!

Iv always been a sensitive person, pick up on energy and emotions around me. Picked up drinking and smoking weed, drank heavily for about 2 years as I tried to cope with everything going on.

It all went down hill this year, just bad stuff after bad stuff, never could get a break. Even my vacation I was so excited for was ruined because of anxiety and upset stomach. Spent all of the time in the hotel room.

I slowly stopped my drinking because I started feeling "weird" and "out of it" at my work, but it'd go away in an hour so I didn't think much of it.

In June I got a hold of some other drugs, I just needed a break. Anything to help with the pain.

Well sadly, that didn't help. I had a terrible reaction and the next day I woke up still feeling "high" I was so terrified I was never going to feel the same way again.

That's when I started getting severe anxiety attacks, one after the other, daily. Weeks went by and I thought killing myself was the only way to end all of this.

July.1st, I ended up in the ER because I didn't know what was going on and I felt like I was trapped in my own head and hurting myself was the only way out. It was the worst attack of my life.

Iv lost so much these last few months because of the anxiety and DP. I had to quit my job because it got so bad.

I'm seeking help and doing everything to do it get better, but some days are worse than most. Some days I'll feel fine then all of a sudden I'll feel DP/anxious, it's the worst. It feels like nothing triggers them, but they still show up!

I'm so depressed because I miss my old life, Iv lost myself and so much because of this.

2 months have gone by and I feel like I wasted it crying, thinking of suicide, not doing things I use to enjoy because everything and anything triggers an anxiety attack/DP, it's the worst feeling ever.

I just want this all to end.

Iv been sober from alcohol and weed for 7 weeks now! I'm really proud of myself, I'm trying to heal, trying to get my life back.

I guess I'm just looking for support from other people who feel this way, because I have no one and my therapist doesn't get it either. I just feel so alone.

Thanks for reading, here's to healing! xo

Drummer, Sound Engineer, Music
979 Posts

In fact you are with 33,000 or so and that's a fraction.

I read your post and it's like Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety... lead to an Anxiety disorder, no real surprises.

So don't worry, you need to get out the loop, lower the anxiety is the first step, there is no cure alls, but there is a way out for most. My only real advice is kill anxiety and depression which is hopefully the key to this. I'd make that the mission, anxiety is hard to tame at times, depression in my case even more so. Sometimes you will need medication, that's your call, physiatrist is a great option if you can find one who works with you. You need to change, many won't get it, weird as this isn't that uncommon, 1% of the UK have it, sounds small but it's not, that's millions, keep searching.

Sorry I can't offer much, message me if you have any questions, 7 weeks is very small in the context of this, sorry to say, anxiety especially takes a while to get to base level, in my and the people i know's experience anyway. SNRI + AntiPsychotic is the most used here if I am right, just an idea.. again (as I've said) don't expect to find a miracle pill, this takes work no matter what, most of it, is getting out of the panic loop and accepting you feel strange and it's gonna take some time.

We in no way have a chronic killing illness, i have had a few friends die of cancer and they are some of the happiest people i've ever met, it set them free, in the worst way possible, but they were either gonna die sad and waste it, or not, we can and will recover, get out and live bud. (it would be easy not to add this but i think it's a good angle...)
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