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Discussion Starter · #1 ·

I was saying to me that I obsess too much on this site, and it always makes me more depressed, so I decided not to come, because I read things that makes me very anxious, but I have today to say that anxiety groups sucks a lot...

I went yesterday to a normal anxiety group, for phobias, GAD, depression, you know. And each time I go, I feel like I don't belong.There is this kind of people who only have simple panick attacks, sometimes :eek: , and the other group, who are a bit disconnected, and had 4 accidents in their lives, and been abused on top of that had many surgeries, and they never loved their job, they sad 4 suicides of relatives in a year, they are PURE victims, and complain on that. It's like TOO much or too little.

When we do a discussion group, I realize each time that me, with my depersonalization problem and derealization, don't belong to this group. And I realize that there is no group for that, and even if there were a group for that, we can't help each other because we have so many problems. People who talks wants to talk of their problems, and other fake to understand or liscen, but in reality they just wait to tell thier stories. I really feel like there are all those people who don't really liscen to others, and I feel MORE alone when I go back at home, and wonder why I said all my life to people who doesn't care and doesn't understand anyway.

I really hate to feel misunderstood or alone, and I get very frustrated of that. Yesterday, whil on the group, I thought of you all, Sc in particular, because you are my friend :p , and wondered how would it be to talk in real to someone who really do understand this dissociation thing. Not just trying to.

Anyway, Sorry for the long post, I really liked to consider myself only a anxious person, but when I do FEEL again, like yesterday, this lost of memory (short term) and feel like I can't be myself and wonder again who I am, what I do in this place and I know that when I'll be back at home, I will feel like my memory about time will be fucked up, like I just woke up from a coma, I can't take it easy. Boy I can't.

Like you see I am frustrated today. I see my psychologist, she gives me tricks to help me control anxiety, he cheers me up for a while, then after, when dissociation comes back, I can't do nothing. And I don't want to go into analysis again, it put me into severe obsessions that I never had before.

Thanks just for reading me, it's a relief to write.


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1,479 Posts
Dear Cynthia,

I can understand where you would feel alone in the group you wrote about. It seems you are much more interested in finding solutions, help and people that understand what it feels like to have anxiety then to listen to people who sound depressed and need a place to dump. So maybe that just isn't the place for you.

I would hope that you could find some people here, like sc, who can reach you and give you some comfort as you learn to deal with your specific problems. I know you cannot reach out and touch us, but do know that people are here that care very much for the battle you are involved in right now with your anxiety.

Just wanted you to know that I care. Sorry I couldn't say it in French. :(

I can barely speak Southern. :wink:

Take care,

P.s. Zigg, giving you a reasonable doubt and thinking you are pretending to be humorous with Cynthia. It is hard to tell on paper. Perhaps some positive input instead of the dark humor you like to use would be more appropriate and of more help to Cynthia. I know you have it in you and would really appreciate seeing it if you return to this thread.

Thanks so much.

Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks Terri. It's appreciated. Really.

Ziggo, sometimes we just don't know what people mean with their little sentences, but no, I am not afraid of you.

See, the problem with Internet is misunderstanding all the time and never knowing what the people really mean or if the people is a crazy one, a silly one or a sincere one. I have a few cues about sincere people, but hey, I can fool myself too.

We'll never know, that is a major problem.

Cynthia xxx

Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Here is the misunderstanding:

Zig pops in the chat room...cynthia is the only one there
Zig prepares witty comment to break the ice in pretend little chat room
Cynthia mysteriously disappears before Zig can even type something out.
Did Canada have the civil rights movement? Ever hear of Martin Luther King? No, of course you haven't. This is OPRESSION! :evil:

Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hey Zig, I can come in and out of the chat room when I want to, and I don't even remember a time you were there. So it's not because of you!


Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Guess it's my turn to try and be "funny" online. ....Zigg, Canada didn't have the civil rights movement...but we did have the Underground Railroad....
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