I experienced episodes of Dp since childhood that only lasted a few seconds but after a terrible panick attack on December last year I've been fighting against the unrealness, hyper-awareness and feelings of going insane during day and night. Being away from my family and friends, and speaking another language in a different culture makes everything worse. I want to be normal again. I want to read books without freaking out. I don't want to hide in the bathroom or under the covers anymore.