Rage

I hope I'm not the only one with the worst anger issues ever.
I get angry at everything and anything.
If someone tells me they love me I get pissed off, if someone tells me they hate me I get pissed off.

I'm angry all the time at everyone and everything for even existing.
I literally wait for people to start arguments with me just so I can get into fights. I find myself praying for someone to start some ridiculous argument just so I can punch and get punched.

One time I almost wacked my sister across the head with a pear jar, but someone else got in the way.
I vandalize.
Destroying things and exercising till I think I'm gonna vomit is how I mostly handle my rage.

It's even more annoying when majority of your other emotions are so suppressed.

So the feeling of anger is intense. Sometimes I have rage attacks and everything becomes a blur.

My thoughts are always on some form of violence for some reason.
I have dark disturbing thoughts all the time, it gets harder to think of myself as a good person.
Every part of me is aggressive and screaming but on the outside I remain so neutral because everything on the outside isn't real, I'm like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I scare myself more than I'd like to admit.

My dp makes me a monster, I don't see people as people or the world as the world. It seems like its all just a playground and people are just I don't even know.
I hold grudges, and take revenge to a whole other level.

I just want to burn the world and make dolphins extinct sometimes.

Oh well.