what if my traumas are so deep ingrained in my childhood and those events dont terrify me anymore? i mean i know exactly those events created my personality and traits and they were very very painful for me. but more than 20 years passed and i dont feel any emotional issue for those events. priorly to my relapse i had still very deep emotional problems and codependency. but i never adressed this as a byproduct of my childhood issues. so now im depersonalized and even the more recent things dont trigger anything in me. the trauma is too deep ingrained. the wound is to hard for me