Thanks for the feedback. Janine, I totally understand what you said to a "t". I just wanted to give some vivid examples. I just wish there was an easier way out!!!! :wink:
Thanks again.
Kelson
Thanks again.
Kelson
Question...Feedback appreciated
Ok, I know I am not supposed to overthink things, but I am still trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that has caused my symptoms.
One thing I have noticed is that my brain seems to have trouble with alot of things going on that it has to focus on at once.
For example:
I am sitting at my desk at work right now. I was feeling sort of detached. I then decided to turn on some music. So I am now listening to music as well as typing emails, etc. Well, when the music is on I detach even more. And if someone walks by my office or comes into my office, I detach even more. Its like my mind is protecting me from activity as it happens.
Another example:
When I am in the car, I may feel sort of detached. If I then stop to pick up my friend and he gets into the car, I detach even more. Or, when I get out of the car and go into a store, I detach even more.
Another example:
The grocery store. I may be feeling sort of detached, but then walk into the store and see all the people, the bright lights and all the different items I need to concentrate on. So I then get more detached and lose focus, concentration, etc.
Another example:
I will be sitting in my apartment by myself. Then my friend comes over and when he/she comes inside, I detach even more.
Another example:
I may be sitting at my desk and when I get a new email it makes a sound on my computer that alerts me that I have a new message. Well lately that sound will kinna make me jump. Or when the phone rings, it makes me jump.
Another example:
I went with some people from work to get some food after work yesterday. Well I felt half way decent on the way there. But as I got to the restaurant and sat down with all the people from work, I got more detached and couldn't concentrate, focus and felt detached from my voice.
Another example:
I was feeling halfway decently connected and then left my office to go to our St. Patrick's Day party at work in a conference room. When I entered and was surrounded by alot of people and saw all the food and noticed the extra noise, I all the sudden became so detached.
Final example:
Yesterday, my boss asked me to help him escort some people back to a meeting in our large conference room. When I went to the front lobby to get ready to greet the people, I was surrounded by my boss and the secretary and other people coming in. I then became more and more detached.
Anyone seeing a trend here? It's like my brain can't handle changes in environments, people, noises, etc...etc. And then to protect itself, it Depersonalizes to hide from it. But little does it know, it is a horrific feeling, which has caused me to be extremely depressed. Now I don't ever really have a panic attack, or sweat, or have a pounding heart, or get dizzy or light-headed but I become sooooo detached and trapped inside my own head that it is horrible! And it's almost like my brain is doing it on its own, not because I am doing it.
Any thoughts? Your feedback is appreciated. Thanks.
Kelson
One thing I have noticed is that my brain seems to have trouble with alot of things going on that it has to focus on at once.
For example:
I am sitting at my desk at work right now. I was feeling sort of detached. I then decided to turn on some music. So I am now listening to music as well as typing emails, etc. Well, when the music is on I detach even more. And if someone walks by my office or comes into my office, I detach even more. Its like my mind is protecting me from activity as it happens.
Another example:
When I am in the car, I may feel sort of detached. If I then stop to pick up my friend and he gets into the car, I detach even more. Or, when I get out of the car and go into a store, I detach even more.
Another example:
The grocery store. I may be feeling sort of detached, but then walk into the store and see all the people, the bright lights and all the different items I need to concentrate on. So I then get more detached and lose focus, concentration, etc.
Another example:
I will be sitting in my apartment by myself. Then my friend comes over and when he/she comes inside, I detach even more.
Another example:
I may be sitting at my desk and when I get a new email it makes a sound on my computer that alerts me that I have a new message. Well lately that sound will kinna make me jump. Or when the phone rings, it makes me jump.
Another example:
I went with some people from work to get some food after work yesterday. Well I felt half way decent on the way there. But as I got to the restaurant and sat down with all the people from work, I got more detached and couldn't concentrate, focus and felt detached from my voice.
Another example:
I was feeling halfway decently connected and then left my office to go to our St. Patrick's Day party at work in a conference room. When I entered and was surrounded by alot of people and saw all the food and noticed the extra noise, I all the sudden became so detached.
Final example:
Yesterday, my boss asked me to help him escort some people back to a meeting in our large conference room. When I went to the front lobby to get ready to greet the people, I was surrounded by my boss and the secretary and other people coming in. I then became more and more detached.
Anyone seeing a trend here? It's like my brain can't handle changes in environments, people, noises, etc...etc. And then to protect itself, it Depersonalizes to hide from it. But little does it know, it is a horrific feeling, which has caused me to be extremely depressed. Now I don't ever really have a panic attack, or sweat, or have a pounding heart, or get dizzy or light-headed but I become sooooo detached and trapped inside my own head that it is horrible! And it's almost like my brain is doing it on its own, not because I am doing it.
Any thoughts? Your feedback is appreciated. Thanks.
Kelson
1 - 7 of 26 Posts
Again, thanks for the feedback. I think the longer I deal with DP, the more I have to say.
I wanted to add this:
I kinna feel like this is something that could be wrong with me, not necessarily my thinking. I mean, I feel that thinking about it makes it worse, but I also sometimes feel that something is wrong with my brain that makes me detached when reacting to things. Like something wasn't "made right" in my brain that causes me to detach in most situations. I know Janine will probably scold me for adding this :lol: , but just wanted to mention it.
Honestly SC, I don't think I could have enough overload, that would not make me DPed. I think the more overload, the more I detach. Honestly.
Ya know, one day one of us is gonna get to the bottom of this. I really think that DP needs to be a focal point for the medical world. I know that there isn't a high percentage of people that have it or more so, know about DP, but I bet the medical world would also be amazed at how many misdiagnosed people are actually DPers. It needs to be focused on more than it is. It at least needs to get to the point where Psychiatrists actually have heard of and know what DP is!
Kelson
I wanted to add this:
I kinna feel like this is something that could be wrong with me, not necessarily my thinking. I mean, I feel that thinking about it makes it worse, but I also sometimes feel that something is wrong with my brain that makes me detached when reacting to things. Like something wasn't "made right" in my brain that causes me to detach in most situations. I know Janine will probably scold me for adding this :lol: , but just wanted to mention it.
Honestly SC, I don't think I could have enough overload, that would not make me DPed. I think the more overload, the more I detach. Honestly.
Ya know, one day one of us is gonna get to the bottom of this. I really think that DP needs to be a focal point for the medical world. I know that there isn't a high percentage of people that have it or more so, know about DP, but I bet the medical world would also be amazed at how many misdiagnosed people are actually DPers. It needs to be focused on more than it is. It at least needs to get to the point where Psychiatrists actually have heard of and know what DP is!
Kelson
:roll: I didn't say THE focal point, I said A focal point. It needs to get more attention than it does. That's all I meant.SoulBrotha said:oh & yeah DP really needs to be the focal point of the medical world, instead of AIDS, CANCER, & other diseases of that nature........
right
:roll:
The one thing that does scare me a tad though is the meds issue. I've tried alot of different meds. Doesn't it seem like, in a way, that trying a whole bunch of different "drugs" isn't really the best thing to do to help a brain? I mean, can it honestly be good for it? Just a question.
I guess I just don't know how to NOT focus on me and the way I feel. Cause my voice sounds weird regardless. And its almost like my DP is an automatic response to changes like I mentioned in my original post in this thread. I kinna just happens. And I don't know how to make it not "just happen"! Make sense?JanineBaker said:I am telling you SO much important stuff here, guys...and 99 per cent of you will not take it in...because in the words of my analyst "everyone who walks through these doors wants to feel better...but not one of them wants to change."
Honestly Janine, you amaze more and more each time. You hit the nail right on the head. I will continue to talk these things out. But you are absolutely correct, I've lived by a recipe and I expect that to lead to perfection and each day I am slowly learning that that is not the case. I know one day I will find myself and Janine, when I do, I have you to thank!JanineBaker said:Also, Kelson...you wrote awhile back in a post about your life experiences. You wrote that you have tried to be good, to be a good son, to be what your parents wanted, etc...you are describing someone who has tried to live by a recipe - as if BEING GOOD and being obedient means that good things will HAPPEN to you. Utterly untrue.
You haven't found out who YOU are because you've spent your life trying to be what someone else tells you to be.
THAT is the stuff to talk about in therapy.
That is going to be the key to your freedom from symptoms....not delving and obsessing about the symptoms themselves.
1 - 7 of 26 Posts
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