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As my recovery has progressed (now nearing Year 3) I've noticed my memories are starting to become more realistic. In classic DP fashion my memories have always felt distant, disconnected, implanted and merely visual ever since I became depersonalized but as time has gone on I'm able to feel more and more connected to them, as if they actually happened to me and aren't from some other life.
What I've realized in analyzing my memories and how they're returning is that what's missing with DP is not visual but sensory. For example, I can visually picture just about any memory the same as before, but with DP I could never feel what those memories felt like. As my condition has improved I'm starting to get little flashbacks of how it felt to actually be me at that specific time of whatever memory comes to mind.
I know Harris Harrington has commented on this in his videos and I believe he's correct in saying some aspect of DP is about emotional memory, not simply the ability to access your memory or to use it, but rather the specific aspect of how it felt to be you in the past. It's said in digestive health that everything can be traced back to constipation and I think the same can be said for cognition and memory. It seems to me that at least one aspect of DP is the inability to access how it feels to be you from an emotional standpoint at any given time prior to DP or during DP.
Anyway, I'm just venting here but if anybody has a similar story or viewpoint please let me know or if anybody has any further information on this topic with more science I'd love to hear it.
What I've realized in analyzing my memories and how they're returning is that what's missing with DP is not visual but sensory. For example, I can visually picture just about any memory the same as before, but with DP I could never feel what those memories felt like. As my condition has improved I'm starting to get little flashbacks of how it felt to actually be me at that specific time of whatever memory comes to mind.
I know Harris Harrington has commented on this in his videos and I believe he's correct in saying some aspect of DP is about emotional memory, not simply the ability to access your memory or to use it, but rather the specific aspect of how it felt to be you in the past. It's said in digestive health that everything can be traced back to constipation and I think the same can be said for cognition and memory. It seems to me that at least one aspect of DP is the inability to access how it feels to be you from an emotional standpoint at any given time prior to DP or during DP.
Anyway, I'm just venting here but if anybody has a similar story or viewpoint please let me know or if anybody has any further information on this topic with more science I'd love to hear it.
