[jc]

as most of you know my binge drinking was getting out of control (anger,frustration).i was drinking vodka and wine and beer that was far too strong for me...now i will admit that i have learned to control my drinking and now i buy a couple of newspapers and drink four pints of fosters and walk home...im not making excuses for this because it was me myself that labelled myself an alcoholic when the only problem i really had was drinking to try and take away the hangover...so it did end up a 3 day cycle,but just recently ive met a great collection of friends down the pub,some young some old,met a lovely girl and have been generally having a good time without feeling the need to get smashed out of my brains..but the dilema seems to start when i go to a.a meetings...some people will actually walk into meetings drunk/or drinking...alot are on drugs and one girl tried to hang herself in the toilet...this is very scary stuff indeed...and some are religious fanatics ...i dont know where im going with this but its a little scary at times

all the best

jc

 

[Martinelv]

You know my opinion on this JC. But you must do whatever you think is best.

Incidently, did you get my new mobile number ? I texted it to you.

Hope you are well mate, and give her one (your new bird) from me !

 

[jc]

im fine thanks martin but my imminent eviction is causing anxiety you would not believe...is you oppinion on the A.A or my drinking ?
at the moment the pub seems to be my only place of solace

 

[Guest]

I went to AA for awhile becasue of an old girlfriends idea (she was aa) and was looked at by a couple cd counselors as alcie. I started to see a doc whose dissertation was in chemical dependency and before we started to talk about dp/dr she wanted to discuss my alcohol use. To my surprize she spelled out the different schools of alcoholism thought and showed me stats about the failure rate of aa folks as well as treatment facility failure. She felt that many who label themselves alcies (and are labeled alcies by cd people) and subscribe to the total abstinence medical model fail becasue life is now black and white, and that some personalities do not tolerate this line of thought. She felt that obesseive types would do better to stay away from places like aa (unless they are true alcies...physically dependent or otherwise pathologically dependent....she actually said only ten percent of peeps who attend aa are true alcies) and appraoch life with a perspective that allows more empowerment, more "control" if you will over your decisions, and in less black and white. I have always felt better when I am given a choice. When I am told I cannot do something I obsess on that something. When she told me to back off my drinking becasue I relealized it was best for me, I did. But if she had sent me to aa or treatment I would have gave alcohol much more power than it had in my life. Alcohol was always just a benzo for me to alter my dp/dr.

All taht being said, I add the disclaimer that booze will reach out and bite the best of us, and it is hard to decifer who is a true alicie. Many find it becoming a primary problem after years of using it as a benzo. And it is poison. But I feel aa is not the cure all for everyone. And especially not for someone like me. But lots of folks world wide claim it to have saved their lives.
jfjt

 

[jc]

thanks for the reply,theres alot of sense in that because it was only myself that labelled myself alcoholic because i would use it like a benzo myself...i suppose this is dependency but i have months when i dont have a drink...but being told that i can never ever have a drink in my life wanted me to go out and have a drink,and about 3 days a week i do this but dont touch the hard stuff and now i know when ive had enough

 

[Kelson12]

JC,

Not saying this in a mean way or anything....but you seem to have a cycle of posting the same things. First you are ashamed at how much you drink....then decided you are going to stop entirely, so you go sober, then you end up just drinking a few pints here and there. It's like you are confused as to what you actually want.
This is what I think.....you need to come to a conclusion to what it is you want. Do you want to get smashed? If so, then come to terms with that and accept it. Do you want to be completely sober all the time? If so, then come to terms with that. Do you want to drink here and there occassionally? If so, determine what is occassionally and come to terms with that. But if you keep posting about it, you are going to keep getting the same exact answers from people. We can only give so much advice, it is you who truly have to figure out what it is you want and learn to accept it. That is my opinion. I also think that you need to find somewhere besides a pub as your place of comfort. Just my two cents. Take care.

Kelson

 

[person3]

i went to an AA meeting w/ my aunt...I'm not an alcoholic but she was, and is sober for 16 years. It might have been a growing up process for her rather than alcoholism, but it ran in her family.

What i liked about the AA meetings was that you could learn things that applied in ALL areas of life for ALL people. I would suggest trying to find a different AA group than the one you go to...see if you can find one at a reputable church or something...because the people at the meeting I went to were very down to earth.

It seems to me there is a lot of black and whiteness but for someone coming out of that disorder it is probably a necessary thing. They need to be told "you can't EVER do this, you can't go back and try to CONTROL it..." because they know that the person who is wanting "just one beer" is not doing it for enjoyment solely but a slight temptation of fate...hell, even if they're NOT doing it to tempt fate they are still walking too thin a line.

The AA book has a lot on surrendering control, focusing on how you can help others instead of do all things for yourself, admitting lack of control over your life and problems, trusting a higher power (doesn't have to be god...but trusting SOMETHING that things will be ok WITHOUT you trying to control them is very helpful in a lot of mental disorders. kind of go w/the flow)

Also the people you meet in a GOOD AA setting will be the kind of people that will be like "hey, i fucked up and did stupid things while drunk, i'm better now...it's not easy but i'm better...i try every day and i'm much better"...not making golden promises or anything, lacking inflated pride, and realistic and friendly.

Basically AA as a remedy to solve ALL of life's problems and to fix you up to top notch won't work. But if you can be open to the teachings in their books it might at least give you some new perspective.

All that being said, I won't make a recommendation to you. It's your choice. But I believe you should find some friends outside of the bar setting no matter what. It's definitely helped me, and i'm not even an alcoholic (edit: i realize i did make a recommendation or two in this post while re-reading it. Well, jsut make your own decision.)

 

[person3]

Also, my...um...mom made a good point that often times people addicted to a substance won't quit until they can find an adequate, fulfilling substitute in life. So it's not just about taking away the bad stuff but going on a search for healthy substitutes.

 

[Guest]

I attended a few A.A meetings and like person3 said, the advice that was given didn't just apply to alcoholics, but applied to just about everyone in life. I found some of the advice to be great and very useful and it still sticks in my head. I am not an alcoholic, but I don't regret going to the meetings. Give it a try, it couldn't hurt. You need a support system that knows what they are talking about or knows what you are feeling during this. There is that, plus I heard there are alot of nice looking chicks at A.A meetings. You can get sober and get laid at the same time.

 

[Homeskooled]

Dear Jc,
I enjoy following your posts, and I hope that all is well. I agree with Kelson, though- your behaviour definitely goes in cycles, as do your posts. You admit being addicted to alcohol, and then after a while decide that you have over-reacted, until another crisis occurs when you are drunk or you scare your parents, etc....then back to staying sober. If you are using alcohol in place of benzos, then self-medication is a sure sign of addiction. If you really want your life to take off, and you want to stem off an eviction from home, then you have to come to terms with the fact that alcohol is addicting for you. I personally cant stand alchohol- but I love milk. Technically, I'm addicted to it. If you cant remove something from your life if it was necessary for you to, it has a hold on you. You are addicted to that substance. For some reason, alcohol has a hold on you. Bars are your main source of socializing, drink is your medicine. In this case, black and white thinking is good. Find something else in life you care about. My uncle struggled with drink all his life until he joined AA and realized that the constantly dreary weather in our part of the US was keeping him depressed. He moved to sunny San Francisco at the age of 50, and lived a happy successful life as a businessman. If you have to, get out of England. Just dont keep doing this to yourself, and dont kid yourself. Things will get alot worse if you continue the cycles, hang around the pubs, and leave AA. No matter how "weird" the people are at AA, stay. None of us are "normal". Best wishes, and hoping that you find some

Peace (thats all any of us seek)
Homeskooled

 

[Martinelv]

Eviction ? Are your parents still threatening to throw you out ? Shitter.

Anyway, what I was taking about was with regard to A.A. Because of my knee-jerk response to anything with religious connotations (at the core of A.A is a promise to 'give yourself up to a higher power', and I know a few people who have come out of A.A like a Manic Street Preacher), however if you ingore that it may be of some use.

But like everyone else has said on this post, I too have noticed that your posts follow a pattern. I've said all along that I don't think you're an alcoholic, the real problem lies elsewhere. And I think you know this. I doubt if going to A.A, or a plethora of different 'meetings' will sort you out. Your problems are fundamental psychological issues which need a huge rugby tackle at the root.

Anyway, givvus a call whenever you need to. I'm not much help, but I can still tell you to screw back the lid on the bottle.

 

[jc]

cheers folks
my problem is binge drinking and like alot of people on here i usually only post when im feeling like shit...but this post wasnt made when i was feeling like 'shit'
i was merly stating that i used booze to cure my anxiety as my parents on a daily basis threaten to evict me and the thought of living in a park scares the shit out of me so i goto the pub where with the help of a few beers i can resume some kind of comfort...the only time i ever got into trouble with booze was when id hit the spirits or wine which no longer happens.....i shall continue to goto the pub read the papers talk to the old boys about the war and sip my beer..

the point of the post wasnt me making excuses for my drinking it was me really asking if these meetings are good for me when people come to meetings drunk or drinking and drugging....at least since going to these meetings its taught me that if i am going to drink keep it to a level i can handle