The worst part about this obsession with creativity is that every time I try to indulge in a creative work or art(A movie, a game, etc.) I am constantly overanalyzing it, feeling like it dosen't make sense what I am seeing. I find myself constantly distracted from the movie/game, trying to clarify in my head every aspect of the work and trying to judge how creative this work is and what the creative process of the art might be. For an example, I can watch a scene in a movie and constantly be thinking about why the director/writer might have chosen for the characters to do that or say this in this exact manner or chosen that outfit for said character, or weather this plot is wholly original or does it contain existing tropes and similarities to other known works. How original are these characters really and how "creative" is this work really?? Can the writer/director be categorized as a creative person???
I'm sure some people like to think about these things when its a voluntary act, I used to do so too. But when I'm in this state, I feel like I MUST figure these things out and its so bad sometimes, I have to pause the movie in order to ruminate for a few minutes otherwise I can't follow the movie at all.
Even if I talk with a friend and he throws a witty remark, I can find myself obsessing about weather that remark was an original creative idea or did he hear it from somwhere? If it is original, what parts of it is unique and what is similar to other sayings I have heard. Just like that I can get distracted from the conversation. Even as I am typing this, I get thoughts of what is making me used this verbage and weather or not I'm using my creativity to express myself right now??
Sorry if I'm venting too much but I find it helps a bit, typing these things out that is going on in my head. It sorta confirms to myself that I am being coherent and (somewhat) sane 😅