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Psychological thoughts instead of existential?

632 Views 17 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Phoenix Rose
Hello there

Looking for a bit of reassurance and maybe someone who can relate.

I’ve had DP/DR in the past for around 1 year previously and fully recovered from it for nearly 3 years. It was the worst year in my life but I believe the experience taught me a lot about the condition and I looked forward to never having to experience that shit again.
Recently, after 3 years of recovery, i‘ve had a relapse of the condition due to my life circumstances. It was my own fault for putting myself in the circumstances that mimicked the exact same ones from my past dealings with it(social isolation and general laziness)

Despite having suffered from it for so long in the past, this feels like a completely new ordeal. I have many of the exact same symptoms but the thoughts and obsessions seem different. I know existential obsessions are the norm, but does anybody else experience more psychological obsessive thoughts?

Like i keep thinking about how thoughts work and how creative thinking works. How does logic work and how much alike are we humans really??? I can spend hours thinking about this, making hypothesis and theories in my head on how these things work. I might get temporary relief after making up a theory i feel is satisfactory, but after a little while i start challenging my own theory, often finding that it dosent work in all scenarios and then i start all over again.

I know i do not need to be thinking about these things. Its not my job to figure these things out and i dont even think scientists and scholars have these things completely figured out, so how the hell am i supposed to do it? I’m afraid of telling people im doing this in my head cause they might think i‘m loosing my mind, which is my worst fear.

Feel free to reach out to me if you need somebody to chat with.
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I think many people in this community, self included, need to accept that our anxious rumination aren't Nietzsche's or Sigmund Freud's. You say you're lazy but you seem to be expending a remarkable amount of psychic work on these thoughts. Psychic energy is what postindustrial white collar workers have in finite supply, and you're spending yours thinking in circles.
I think its because I once read somewhere that people with psychosis only became that way because their creative minds are running haywire, so I sorta associate creativity with psychosis and that scares me??
There's probably some relationship between creative giftedness and insanity. Many famous people appear disturbed, including artists who weren't famous while they lived. Disturbed people who function the worst are often closed minded and intellectually handicapped while people who burn brightly in terms of creativity are open minded and intelligent. Think of the level of detachment and discontentment that's necessary to come up with a new critical way of thinking, or the amount of mind-stretching necessary to invent a new formula in mathematics.

I don't think creativity itself causes psychosis. Maybe psychosis is caused by imagining (creating) an experience and then failing to distinguish it from reality. I can imagine my wife is cheating on me but I should be able to distinguish the imaginary from the real, at least to some extent. You should probably look for some empirical basis for your fears rather than blindly adhering to them. If you can't find an empirical basis, or any basis for that matter, consider letting them go. This advice is kind of like telling you not to be scared of the boogeyman in your closet. Yes, in the future you could go a lot more insane. You could also get a stroke, aneurism, heart attack, cancer, or dementia. What's the use worrying?
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Yeah after reading a bit, including the Guide to schizo on here, i found there is no actual correlation. Its all primarily genetic and extreme environmental factors. Im trying to backtrack and see if i had obessions like this back when i had dp/dr 3 years ago cause that would reassure me a ton, but i cant remember and I didnt write anything about it.

Anyways, thanks for listening and pitching in. Just being on this site helps a lot :)
This site helps me too. Life is scary. Being in a mortal body having a brain is scary.
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Highly insightful. In describing the relationship between insanity and creativity it might be found that the less focused a person is on the fundamental basics of realty, the more imaginative and “in the clouds” a person may be, hence both more creative and insane. It’s like trading common sense for some unique sense of perception. This is what I think about myself sometimes

I think people have different sized splashes of psychological disturbance, creativity, and intellect. Here's a Yale lecture series about genius where I was reminded of this concept.
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