Hi so in 2018 my GP cold turkeyed me off antidepressants sertraline. I was on meds 7 years then he put me on mirtazapine and my memories and sense of self vanished. I tried more meds in desperation ended up getting akathisa, then they tried me on duloxetine had another immediate reaction, burned my brain and body felt like I was on fire now I cannot sense any body parts it is terrorfying seems more than dpdr? I don't know I have a head or ears or nose, lips, arms legs, feet, gentitals in my head they do not exist anymore but I can still move feel like I am drowning inside my body... I can't tell where my body is in space at all absolutely no awareness I forget that I even exist.
I can't think or plan anything, lost all time perception, no hunger or thirst sensations, can't sweat. Feel my brain being squeezed so much pressure. Tinnitus, and humming sounds, visual snow. No connection to life. I can only sit in a chair all day with no thoughts as I do not know who I am or my life history. Seen Dr's and neurologists who just fob me off with anxiety. I had anxiety and this is not it. I am in constant state of terror and suicidal ideation because of it. I want myself and life back but I am denied access as its just a dark abyss inside me where I used to reside as a human being.
I wake up each day terrorfied because I don't feel myself or know who I am. Every day is the first day day of my life. I've had mri scans and eeg. Nothing found. I don't know how I am supposed to continue like this? But I'm scared of dying as much as I am existing like this. It is hell on earth.
Thanks for reading