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Hey all,

I'll try to be as brief as possible here. But basically 3 weeks ago I stupidly took a disassociative drug (mxe) with cocaine and had a huge mental breakdown, lost my mind temporarily, shattered my reality and experienced what i can only describe as an eternal hell. My body detached from my mind and apparently I begin screaming and siezuring and smashed my head into glass, just completely went insane.

Since this I've been having on and off profound bouts of nothing being real. It is the most HORRIFYING feeling ever, and so hard to shake, I realise nothing makes sense and it is just the worst feeling I can imagine, it is making me feel reeeeally weird just typing this now. Something in my head questions everything that happens, i'm functioning when the attacks don't hit me but starting to feel hopeless.

I saw a crisis psychiatry team who helped, mainly by giving my clonazepam which helps bring me down after the attacks. Without this I just become an anxious, shaking wreck, heart pounding, severe anxiety attacks, and insomniac.

I am now signed off and waiting to be refererred to a psychiatrist. GP has given me citalopram anti-depressant but she was very ignorant about the whole issue and I am generally not depressed, have never really suffered depression, just massively questioning my sanity and the world, which triggers anxiety attacks.

I've not had any mental health issues in the past, I'm not sure about opening a can of worms if this citalopram is possibly going to make things worse. I do not take any other drugs, I have no desire to touch anything ever again. Even the caffeine of a cup of tea seems to trigger me. I'll just add also that the condition worsens as the day goes on for some reason, by the end of the day I am usually seeing the world in a strange way and questioning everything.

PLEASE if anyone has any advice for this it could really change the scariest time of my life for me?
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