[Fackingtiredofit]

Hello!
I'm new here, altough I've had dpdr for 10 years (fun... funfunfun..). My dpdr began on a crowded bus from Latvia to Sweden (I'm swedish), after I had been drinking beer for like 5 days straight. It was so scary, it just hit me, "I don't know who I am".

Anyway I'm 29 now and me and my boyfriend are talking about having a baby. But I'm terrified dpdr will get worse. I also have harm OCD and I'm so afraid all this will turn into a psychosis and I end up killing my child.

Has anybody here gotten pregnant while having this ass-sucking illness?

 

[Al_pk]

Firstly, dp does not just turn into psychosis. Not how it works. Doesn't happen that way

Secondly i have a bit of hocd also. No one ever acts on it

But finally, and most importantly, you need to have a very serious conversation with yourself and your partner. Are you fit to be a mother? Im 29 also, and ive deemed i am not fit to be a father in my current state. It would not be fair to bring a child into the world with a preoccupied, anxious father whose reality perception is warped and who isn't capable of feeling emotion, so I don't even date.

If your dpdr is a bit of minor inconvenience then sure, go for it. But if it's an all consuming break from reality then nah

Serious conversations. Gotta be done

 

[Fackingtiredofit]

Thanks for replying! I know that's not how it works, I was a little unclear, I'm sorry about that. I was talking about postpartum psychosis, and if a dp/dr sufferer has a highten risk of developing it.

And also thank you for telling me no one ever acts on harm ocd, it's always so reassuring to hear

Yes we have had this conversation for about a year I think, and I honestly don't know if I'm fit to be a mother. But I've always thought that nobody knows if they're fit to be a parent - but I get what you're saying. I have a niece, she's 3 months old and for the first time in years I feel a real connection with another human being. She feels more real than the rest. She brings out some emotion in me.

But you're a guy, you can reproduce at any age.. I feel like I'm about to be too old soon.

I have good days and bad days, but I refuse to let this shitty illness stop me from living like a "normal" person.

 

[Al_pk]

Oh that's okay. No, a dpdr sufferer does not have a heightened risk of developing psychosis, so if that's your worry don't worry any more about it.

Harm ocd happens because it's precicely what DON'T want to do or think about. So it actually tends to be pretty nice people who get it.

I understand too well the desire to live and it was with great sadness i banned myself from relationship stuff, and of course if i get better in the next few years that will all be allowed again. I understand the female/age thing

Honestly with just dpdr and hocd you're not really at risk of anything, maybe depression but that's real common anyway my own mum had depression post partum and im glad she didn't see it as a reason to throw me away

Just be honest with yourself. If you're feeling pretty stable and coping with life well anyway i don't think there's a reason to not have kids. IF you know you could do with a little more time to focus on busting dpdr you should do that and then get back to kids. You still have a good 5 years before it starts getting wierd