Point of no return.

3213 Views 20 Replies 6 Participants Last post by bright23, Jul 19, 2005

Imagine

Discussion Starter · Jul 18, 2005

I'm gonna die because of this, right now I feel i dont know who the hell iam how the hell i know this forum, what the hell is a forum, what the hell is the internet, who the hell am i?

My voice - slurred speach.... these are not my words im thinking this is not me talking.

Blacking out feeling - not knowing how i got from one place to another.

Feels like my mind is slowly shutting down.... cant feel my own weight, feel light, hollow.

This post is just a complete ramble but i dont know how to put it.... i even shed a few tears earlier... just let me die let me whispering to myself.

my memory... feels completely lost.

Im becoming dumbified if there is such a word... soon i will be a lifeless living piece of meat.... sitting there... trapped inside my brain not knowing who or what iam, what words are, what their meanings are.

cant take this.

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bright23

· #9 · Jul 18, 2005

I don't know if this is helpful, and you've probably heard this before... but in my worst episodes I would overcome my fear by specifically letting go of my resistance. Acute DP for me was extremely physical, everything in my body and mind was tensed as I was confronting the seeming fact of life long institutionalization. Letting go of the fear of losing sanity/consciousness, even if it meant for a moment losing sanity/consciousness.

Perhaps your agony and pain is in the struggle and the resistance to what you fear most. You're wound up and seized up. Let yourself get stupified, let it rush over you and annihilate you, and then take a walk to a cafe and get a cup of coffee, and look around at other people, use your imagination to penetrate their personal dramas. Everyone has one, not just us DPrs. Focus out. There's so much going on in existence at any moment, focus out and let yourself disappear in the distractions of this world.

Let me know if this suggestion is total crap and unhelpful for you.

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bright23

· #11 · Jul 19, 2005

"I'm no expert but recent studies have shown that high levels of stress, or extreme anxiety or depression can cause brain damage."

Please direct us to these studies that connect stress/anxiety/depression to permanent "brain damage." Its news to me.

I'd think news like this would be on the cover of the New York Times. Don't you?

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bright23

· #14 · Jul 19, 2005

The human brain is a self-regulating system. 1 year ago this week I was spiralling into a major depression with horrendous physical and mental effects. I could hardly speak and avoided communication with others as much as possible. Suicide ideation and all, no escape.

1 Year later and I'm better than ever. There's no brain damage from stress/anxiety/depression. The brain always comes back around. Major Depression untreated will always resolve itself and disappear after six months for this very reason.

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bright23

· #17 · Jul 19, 2005

"The idea that major depression untreated will simply go away seems a bit ridiculous. It will go away and come back and go away and come back."

Actually, yes you are right. Absolutely. My point was that EVEN without treatment the brain by nature will right itself and recover from Major Depression even without treatment. I've had two relapses myself...

I'm concerned for Imagine's situation right now. And sorry, I don't see how you talking about brain damage is really at all helpful AT THIS TIME.

We're largely here to support each other, right? not to freak each other out and make us even more depressed and miserable.

I will check out your brain damage links...

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bright23

· #21 · Jul 19, 2005

"By thinking positively and treating your body right, I believe that emotions can be stabilized. We are all capable of making a recovery. Whether that recovery is 100% or not doesn't make a difference. We can get to place that is dramatically better than where we are or have been."

That's what I'm talking about. Wasn't that easy? And the effect is huge! Even I feel better!

IMAGINE ? I've been sober for one year all drugs and alcohol, and I feel like a different person. A new person with very ordinary everyday problems. But I am free of the extremes of thinking that addiction to drugs and alcohol subjected me to.

I don't have any idea what your consumption is, doesn't matter. If you think there's a problem with your substance use, then there's a problem. And of course if you're taking meds its advised against. You know this already.

Good luck over the next few days...

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