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I'm sitting here a mixture of sad, angry and emotional. I really feel like punching someone hard today. I hope someone really pisses me off so I can just scream at them at the top of my lungs. I hate feeling this way. I'm so hormonal and depressed and angry. Its eating me alive.

I also realized today that living with dp/dr is easier than recovering from it. Its like an alcoholic getting sober. You crave that feeling of euphoria and peace that your substance gives you. I was in my hometown today and I felt so alienated from it all, like I no longer "belonged" there because I moved away. I moved away for work. I live only an hour away from where I grew up as a teen but I feel so disconnected from the town. I want to live there again. I love the restaurants, the night life, the parks, the people, the stores. I live in fucking shit town now. In the ghetto.

Life is too real right now. I don't like it.

I got to work today and my coworker said one of our managers had been in and yelled at her for being on Facebook and I told her if he got mad at me, I would have told him to "Fuck off". And I was being for real. I would have told the mother fucker to go fuck himself tonight. That's the kind of mood I'm in right now. I hate the week before my period. I feel so fucking mad and irritable. I hate my life.


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drex
Sep 30 2012 10:50 AM

So you have recovered.... n you hate it?
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OnlyJustADream
Oct 12 2012 01:01 AM

Wow, I've had DP for 4 years
basically every year of my high school year I have been under a fog
all I want is recovery

but you don't like your recovered state?
hmmm,

I mean I guess it makes sense in a way....
With DP you are numb and don't feel anything
to suddenly feeling everything

Kinda makes sense,
........Kinda.........
 
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