Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well i'm gonna write how i feel and all my symptomps, if somebody relates, or have been through that, please tell me i really need it.

So, first when i developed dp (im self-diagnosed), i was freaking out, myself would look strange in the mirror, the world wouldn't look real, and that's it. After 6 months i thought i was cured completely, the world was looking real, i was happy again etc. But thats when my real suffering begins, i experience a big panic attack( at least thats what i think it was) and i fall back into this black hole, but this time its different, i have this constant head pressure, an off balance feeling and dizzines (those are the most disturning ones), muscle twitching etc. Well that summer went by and all those feelings stopped. During the autumn, winter and spring my dp was somewhat managable without them physical symptomps. Then summer came back, so do all the physical symptomps. Right now im going through this, as an hypochondriac i think the worst case scenario, the symptomps are waaaaaaay worse at night.
The world also feels different to me, kinda scary, especially at night, and my dp feel like goes through stages, like two or three days ago it felt different than it is righ now, and in two or three next days it will feel different( i wanna know if somebody else felt this), i really need hope cuz i think im getting worse and worse everyday. Also i have a constant fast heart beat. Sorry for my bad english, its not my native language.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
125 Posts
You are not getting worse trust me what is happening is that you are focusing waaaay more in the symptoms, there is a reason why the symptoms subsided in the winter/ autumn, did you stopped thinking so much about it maybe? What ae can see here is that you are keeping track of everything ypu are feeling and that is exactly whatis not make you better, truzt me i had this for 7 years , the moment i really stopped yhinking so much about it was the moment i was getting better, seems easy but its not i can tell somethings that can help you take your mind away from it
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
449 Posts
I have been through a lot of what you are describing

do these to get better :

1. try to lower your anxiety in any way . if possible find a therapist (I still havent done this)

2. go to the doc and let yourself checked . I am also a huge hypochondriac and I know how difficult and disgusting the thought of going to the doc and letting yourself checked is but trust me it helps TRMENDOUSLY . you should do a blood test and an Electrocardiography . most likely everything will be fine

I did one a few months ago and he said everything is fine my blood fat value etc. is fine my heart rythm is fine etc. etc. . he said that my heartrate is very high thats the only thing

it made my dp and anxiety improve so much you cant imagine

so this is also related to point 1.) above

3. you might want to see a psychiatrist . I am against the notion of taking pills for everything . psychiatrists/docs will want to you swallow pill as if they are bonbons . but they can help . for me effexor was good for anxiety relief and some antipsychotics helped me against some weird thoughts and against some visional phenomenas (like colors being too bright and intense and everything looking cartoon like etc.)

but this should be only your "last resort" if things dont get better with time . but you should know that you are in no danger . I mean I am not a doctor and dont know you but I am pretty sure you dont have anything serious physically . and you will also not go crazy or anything and you will become normal again . you dont want to know what I have been through ....trust me ....I dont want to talk anybodies suffering down but I personally I really have been things where I thought my life is over . in 2018 I was 4 times or so in the psychiatric emergency and every day was like hell . my stress hormones were out of whack . I couldnt think properly . I had the most disturbing thoughts . I was in constant panic mode . everything seemed like a bad cartoon and unreal to me . I was freaking out and thought I am going either crazy or die . and now ? I have been 70-80% through this and feel almost normal again
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the replies, i'm 19 years old i did all the blood tests, thyroid levels too, everey single one came back normal. But in case of this off-balance feeling, lightheadedness, dizzines ( its not that severe) it only occurs when i stand up, my heart-beat raises, and i get hella anxious, it contributes on my dp heavily. As i hypochondriac, using my good "friend" google, im freaking about a brain tumor or epilepsy. My doctor said my pulse is a little bit low but normal, 55-60 bpm when im resting he says it is because i've played soccer for about 10 years. It only increases when i stand up for 20-25 bpm.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Also, these feelings were present last summer too, but went away on their own, they make my dp way worse and unbearable. Thinking i might have some vestibular problems, constant tinnitus, ears clogged, wax etc..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
449 Posts
Thanks for the replies, i'm 19 years old i did all the blood tests, thyroid levels too, everey single one came back normal. But in case of this off-balance feeling, lightheadedness, dizzines ( its not that severe) it only occurs when i stand up, my heart-beat raises, and i get hella anxious, it contributes on my dp heavily. As i hypochondriac, using my good "friend" google, im freaking about a brain tumor or epilepsy. My doctor said my pulse is a little bit low but normal, 55-60 bpm when im resting he says it is because i've played soccer for about 10 years. It only increases when i stand up for 20-25 bpm.
dont google for symptoms .

and dont check your heartbeats either

it is good that you did blood tests . go to the doc and do an electrocardiography . if he says everythings normal (which most likely it is) then you will feel even better . which doesnt mean that you should run to the doc for everything but you will realize that it is because of anxiety and dp
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
631 Posts
It doesn't sound like epilepsy or a brain tumor. It could be a vestibular issue, as you said, or something auto-immune. Have you seen an endocrinologist or ENT?

The odd thing is that this only happens in the summer. My symptoms are worse in the summer too, though I do have them all year. Do you feel as if the symptoms fluctuate as a result of weather changes? worse during heat or humidity could for example?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Im in college during autumn, winter and spring, so im distracted more, even though dp is still there and still severe, i dont give it too much attention. I think its related to climate changes, i cant bear heat, one day it was 36 celcius degrees ( about 96-97f maybe?) I couldn't go outside because of the heat would make my dp waaaay worse and get me lightheaded. Yeah its odd that the physical symptomps are way more intense during the summer, it's just depressing that i was able to exercise for 2 hours without having a single problem now i cant due to this dizzines, off-balance, lightheaded feeling. Those feelings are more intense at night, throughout the day i get them only slightly to the point that i dont notice them sometimes. Dp also is way worse at night, through daytime is much better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
631 Posts
Your experience sounds a lot like mine, though I don't have school to distract me anymore. Unfortunately I haven't found any answers beyond trying to distract myself temporarily. I was diagnosed and treated for Lyme disease at one point, with minimal success. Still it might be something worth looking into, though keep in mind that everything about Lyme is controversial and confusing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well i looked up for lyme disease and im surprised. A lot of symptomps, not to all of them relate to mine. How is lyme disease diagnosed?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
631 Posts
Well i looked up for lyme disease and im surprised. A lot of symptomps, not to all of them relate to mine. How is lyme disease diagnosed?
Yeah, you probably wouldn't have all the symptoms listed. That's one of the reasons why it's controversial.

How it's diagnosed depends on who you go to. If you go to a regular doctor, absent a bulls-eye rash they would require a positive result on a two-tier blood test to diagnose and treat. If you go to a "Lyme Literate" doctor, they will often diagnose clinically based on symptoms. Treatment methods widely vary between these two types of doctors as well.

I can't help but feel there must be a happy medium between the two, but I suppose that's what happens with controversy and politics; the adherents tend to gravitate toward the extremes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Yeah, you probably wouldn't have all the symptoms listed. That's one of the reasons why it's controversial.

How it's diagnosed depends on who you go to. If you go to a regular doctor, absent a bulls-eye rash they would require a positive result on a two-tier blood test to diagnose and treat. If you go to a "Lyme Literate" doctor, they will often diagnose clinically based on symptoms. Treatment methods widely vary between these two types of doctors as well.

I can't help but feel there must be a happy medium between the two, but I suppose that's what happens with controversy and politics; the adherents tend to gravitate toward the extremes.
Can i send you a private message?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
Hi,

I have absolutely mostly everything you describe, sometimes it feels like the stars align and some other person is experiencing exactly what I am.

My whole DP thing started off as a sleepless night, and symptoms such as loss of balance and muscle twitching persisted for a few months, after going to the doctor, getting bloods done, ect... They said they don't know, after that it subsided quite drastically. But again recently after about 5+ months of feeling generally normal it has came back - the feeling off balance all the time, terrible fatigue and twitching, say my finger or leg will randomly move without me even doing it - and of course the constant DP.

Whatever you have it seems like I have it too, I've been on SSRI's since I was 15 (now 18), don't know if its related. But thank you for this post.

- also that pulse thing that happens when you stand up happens to me too, my heart will race super fast when I stand up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Hi,

I have absolutely mostly everything you describe, sometimes it feels like the stars align and some other person is experiencing exactly what I am.

My whole DP thing started off as a sleepless night, and symptoms such as loss of balance and muscle twitching persisted for a few months, after going to the doctor, getting bloods done, ect... They said they don't know, after that it subsided quite drastically. But again recently after about 5+ months of feeling generally normal it has came back - the feeling off balance all the time, terrible fatigue and twitching, say my finger or leg will randomly move without me even doing it - and of course the constant DP.

Whatever you have it seems like I have it too, I've been on SSRI's since I was 15 (now 18), don't know if its related. But thank you for this post.

- also that pulse thing that happens when you stand up happens to me too, my heart will race super fast when I stand up.
Did your symptomps dissapear again, or now they are constant? It feels good to know that im not the only one exeperiencing this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
Did your symptomps dissapear again, or now they are constant? It feels good to know that im not the only one exeperiencing this.
The first time I had this it lasted like a 2 or 3 months, so at this time I don't know if its constant. I'll give it more time to see if it'll go again. Good luck update us later with any news.
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top