[WorryGirl]

I'm not even sure if I have dpdr anymore... I have no emotions, my body seems far away, pupils dialated, can't recognize my reflection in the mirror. World looks weird. Memory is bad. So far, it fits.
But my intellect is crumbling...
I can't read, can't watch tv. And not because of 'racing thoughts' or thinking 'is this real?'. No, I don't inderstand what's going on anymore. I just don't get it. I can talk with others, but I don't understand what they're, or what I'm saying either. Others seem to notice nothing odd. It's like everything I do and say is automatic. Which has me thinking, if one day I don't notice anymore, no one will know. My body just goes on doing stuff and my brain gives programmed responses. But 'I' will be gone. Anybody felt like this? I'm scared, every day. I just remember 'flashes' of each day. I want to have a MRI and CT scan done. To see, if anything pops up. I just can't believe this is from anxiety anymore...

 

[WorryGirl]

Oh, and I can't eat. I lost 20kg in three months. Nausea and throwing up... Doctor couldn't find anything wrong physically... I was overweight, but if it continues, it's gonna get dangerous.

 

[NoDevils]

Most people with depersonalization feel like this. The idea that your consciousness is going to shrink away and you'll become a zombie is just another philosophical rumination your brain has come up with to fuel your anxiety. Yes, ability to pay attention with this syndrome is diminished and fluctuates depending on symptom severity.

 

[NoDevils]

Oh, and I can't eat. I lost 20kg in three months. Nausea and throwing up... Doctor couldn't find anything wrong physically... I was overweight, but if it continues, it's gonna get dangerous.

If you become malnourished due to loss of appetite you go to the doctor and say you have lost +20kg from loss of appetite. They will have solutions. The solutions you need now are for your mental health. Being able to have an appetite and stomach food will probably make you feel better, so you may want to tell your psychiatrist or primary what's happening regarding your appetite. Tell them the severity of your anxiety as well.

 

[WorryGirl]

If you become malnourished due to loss of appetite you go to the doctor and say you have lost +20kg from loss of appetite. They will have solutions. The solutions you need now are for your mental health. Being able to have an appetite and stomach food will probably make you feel better, so you may want to tell your psychiatrist or primary what's happening regarding your appetite. Tell them the severity of your anxiety as well.

I'm going to my doctor this afternoon. My psychiatrist doesn't have a clue what's going on...

 

[NoDevils]

I'm going to my doctor this afternoon. My psychiatrist doesn't have a clue what's going on...

That's good about the primary. Does your psychiatrist not know what's happening because you haven't told them or because they don't know about depersonalization and its relationship with anxiety? I had to try several psychiatrists before one finally gave me a protocol for PTSD. There's medication for anxiety as well. It's awkward to think of what's happening to you as inexplicable, because most of us here have experienced it.

 

[WorryGirl]

That's good about the primary. Does your psychiatrist not know what's happening because you haven't told them or because they don't know about depersonalization and its relationship with anxiety? I had to try several psychiatrists before one finally gave me a protocol for PTSD. There's medication for anxiety as well. It's awkward to think of what's happening to you as inexplicable, because most of us here have experienced it.

I have told her. She doesn't know about dpdr/ dissociation that much. 'I don't know' is a regular response from her. I was on benzos, didn't help me.

 

[NoDevils]

I have told her. She doesn't know about dpdr/ dissociation that much. 'I don't know' is a regular response from her. I was on benzos, didn't help me.

Her job is to give you medicine that works without harming you and maybe help devise a treatment plan. If she's not doing that she shouldn't be getting paid. She's not going to have answers to all of your questions but she is supposed to provide treatment, care, and not be clueless.

 

[WorryGirl]

Her job is to give you medicine that works without harming you and maybe help devise a treatment plan. If she's not doing that she shouldn't be getting paid. She's not going to have answers to all of your questions but she is supposed to provide treatment, care, and not be clueless.

She says that dissociation is a symptom that can't be treated. She doesn't understand what triggered it either. It started weeks after I tried to taper off antidepressants. First I had attacks with severe anxiety, shaking and loss of muscle control. Then two weeks of 'just' anxiety. And then my brain just went 'nope'. It's been like that for like two, three months. She doesn't have a clue what caused it or how to treat me. Just wait, she said, maybe it will stabilize on its own... She congratulated me on the fact that my OCD is gone since this thing came around... Thanks, appreciate it.😑

 

[NoDevils]

She says that dissociation is a symptom that can't be treated. She doesn't understand what triggered it either. It started weeks after I tried to taper off antidepressants. First I had attacks with severe anxiety, shaking and loss of muscle control. Then two weeks of 'just' anxiety. And then my brain just went 'nope'. It's been like that for like two, three months. She doesn't have a clue what caused it or how to treat me. Just wait, she said, maybe it will stabilize on its own... She congratulated me on the fact that my OCD is gone since this thing came around... Thanks, appreciate it.😑

She's basically right. There haven't been proven pharmacological treatments for dissociation itself, and research into developing such treatments has been scant. Depersonalization can't directly hurt you though it can indicate something is wrong as well as frightening sufferers and reducing their ability to function. Standard protocol is to help the person succeed in life and feel better despite the challenges of depersonalization, including treating comorbid problems and doing interventions when necessary. Based on what you're saying, coming off the antidepressants and experiencing depersonalization has coincided with an anxiety spike. That's fairly normal and I don't think it'll last forever. If you're like most people you'll eventually become tired of worrying about these catastrophic scenarios and philosophical ruminations. I've seen users of this site post about their obscure worries for years straight and they eventually grow bored of it. It might take you mere days or weeks.

 

[WorryGirl]

She's basically right. There haven't been proven pharmacological treatments for dissociation itself, and research into developing such treatments has been scant. Depersonalization can't directly hurt you though it can indicate something is wrong as well as frightening sufferers and reducing their ability to function. Standard protocol is to help the person succeed in life and feel better despite the challenges of depersonalization, including treating comorbid problems and doing interventions when necessary. Based on what you're saying, coming off the antidepressants and experiencing depersonalization has coincided with an anxiety spike. That's fairly normal and I don't think it'll last forever. If you're like most people you'll eventually become tired of worrying about these catastrophic scenarios and philosophical ruminations. I've seen users of this site post about their obscure worries for years straight and they eventually grow bored of it. It might take you mere days or weeks.

I hope I will... Are you recovered?

 

[NoDevils]

I hope I will... Are you recovered?

Compared to when I first got depersonalization, yes. I've been able to work, go to school, and date while having this condition and had a fun time doing it. Materially speaking my life is better than before I had depersonalization. Lately I've been kind of lonely but that's nothing to do with depersonalization. I still feel weird and disabled to an extent but I'm unsure whether I was always like this and I hesitate to attribute it purely to depersonalization. When I first got depersonalization it was part of a nervous meltdown worsened by drug withdrawal, not too unlike what you're experiencing.

 

[coolwhip27]

I'm not even sure if I have dpdr anymore... I have no emotions, my body seems far away, pupils dialated, can't recognize my reflection in the mirror. World looks weird. Memory is bad. So far, it fits.
But my intellect is crumbling...
I can't read, can't watch tv. And not because of 'racing thoughts' or thinking 'is this real?'. No, I don't inderstand what's going on anymore. I just don't get it. I can talk with others, but I don't understand what they're, or what I'm saying either. Others seem to notice nothing odd. It's like everything I do and say is automatic. Which has me thinking, if one day I don't notice anymore, no one will know. My body just goes on doing stuff and my brain gives programmed responses. But 'I' will be gone. Anybody felt like this? I'm scared, every day. I just remember 'flashes' of each day. I want to have a MRI and CT scan done. To see, if anything pops up. I just can't believe this is from anxiety anymore...

The only time I get out of it is when I become aware of all those things you’re describing, because those thoughts and recognitions are attributed to the depersonalization. In observing those “thoughts and feelings” without trying to escape from them, the voice inside screaming about how intolerable it is will weaken. Do you notice how when there is no pressure in the background of your mind, everything is ok? Free yourself from anxiety and you free yourself from suffering. But, take it easy on yourself. It’s hard

 

[WorryGirl]

Compared to when I first got depersonalization, yes. I've been able to work, go to school, and date while having this condition and had a fun time doing it. Materially speaking my life is better than before I had depersonalization. Lately I've been kind of lonely but that's nothing to do with depersonalization. I still feel weird and disabled to an extent but I'm unsure whether I was always like this and I hesitate to attribute it purely to depersonalization. When I first got depersonalization it was part of a nervous meltdown worsened by drug withdrawal, not too unlike what you're experiencing.

Question, how do you 'have fun' without emotions? Do they come back after you accept dpdr?

 

[WorryGirl]

The only time I get out of it is when I become aware of all those things you’re describing, because those thoughts and recognitions are attributed to the depersonalization. In observing those “thoughts and feelings” without trying to escape from them, the voice inside screaming about how intolerable it is will weaken. Do you notice how when there is no pressure in the background of your mind, everything is ok? Free yourself from anxiety and you free yourself from suffering. But, take it easy on yourself. It’s hard

Yes, I've noticed this. But only very short moments of it... Then I'm back to questioning everything. Like, do I even understand the meaning of things? A.i. do I consciously recognize stuff? Is it not just a reaction? Stupid thoughts...😊

 

[Diego]

.

 

[Diego]

I'm not even sure if I have dpdr anymore... I have no emotions, my body seems far away, pupils dialated, can't recognize my reflection in the mirror. World looks weird. Memory is bad. So far, it fits.
But my intellect is crumbling...
I can't read, can't watch tv. And not because of 'racing thoughts' or thinking 'is this real?'. No, I don't inderstand what's going on anymore. I just don't get it. I can talk with others, but I don't understand what they're, or what I'm saying either. Others seem to notice nothing odd. It's like everything I do and say is automatic. Which has me thinking, if one day I don't notice anymore, no one will know. My body just goes on doing stuff and my brain gives programmed responses. But 'I' will be gone. Anybody felt like this? I'm scared, every day. I just remember 'flashes' of each day. I want to have a MRI and CT scan done. To see, if anything pops up. I just can't believe this is from anxiety anymore...

When you said "No, I don't inderstand what's going on anymore. I just don't get it. I can talk with others, but I don't understand what they're, or what I'm saying either. Others seem to notice nothing odd. It's like everything I do and say is automatic." I couldn't change one word to describe of what I'm feeling now right now. I also started it after tape off antidepressants. I think that the only difference of our symptoms is that your anxiety is right. When your anxiety get down you will probably be able to "just live this life whatever it is", this is what I'm doing. My advice is when you get rid of your anxiety don't take meds anymore.

 

[WorryGirl]

When you said "No, I don't inderstand what's going on anymore. I just don't get it. I can talk with others, but I don't understand what they're, or what I'm saying either. Others seem to notice nothing odd. It's like everything I do and say is automatic." I couldn't change one word to describe of what I'm feeling now right now. I also started it after tape off antidepressants. I think that the only difference of our symptoms is that your anxiety is right. When your anxiety get down you will probably be able to "just live this life whatever it is", this is what I'm doing. My advice is when you get rid of your anxiety don't take meds anymore.

You're saying try to let go of anxiety/ worrying about dpdr? Did it get better for you that way?

 

[Diego]

You're saying try to let go of anxiety/ worrying about dpdr? Did it get better for you that way?

Yeah that was my "cure"

 

[WorryGirl]

Yeah that was my "cure"

Okay, thanks. It just so difficult. Like when you stop paying attention you'll slip away or something. Yet I know it's the opposite. Stupid thoughts, stupid condition. Sorry...