[Mipmunk]

Ok I have had this bout of DP for 15 weeks now, due to the trauma and illness of my cat dying. What I do understand is why it is taking so long to come out of it. I am past the empty shell stage, but I still don't feel connected to my "real normal self", and I was thinking is the DP still trying to protect me from something, cos I am long over the death of my cat, but the DP still remains with me. I am having CBT with my therapist and we were talking how I will cope when one of my parents dies or the death of a friend. Could it be that the DP is trying to protect me from this before it has even happened?? My normal bouts of DP have lasted anything from 4 to 7 weeks, but this one is over 3 months long and I really don't know it isn't going? At the moment I feel nervous of who I am and have clammy hands and the longer this goes on I am beginning to think the DP will never go. How do I connect back to myself. Is this DP trying to protect me (against death of friends and family) which hasn't even happened yet. As my cat died, and the DP kicked in, it has decided to stay with me before something bad has even happened? I am just racking my brains as to why this DP hasn't gone yet. I am really scared it isn't going to go away this time????

Please help, advice, I am desperate.

Mip
x

 

[jodie1]

deleted

 

[Sojourner]

Mip,

Did you say a while back that you found out you were pregnant? I recall your saying that, but I'm not totally sure.

 

[Mipmunk]

yes I while back I fell pregnant and that caused the DP to trigger off too. I think I felt overwhelmed that I couldn't cope with a baby and the DP triggered off, that was a couple of years ago now.

I feel a bit better today, but still not "hooray", I am sleeping but it is broken sleep and then I wake up about 6am and cannot get back to sleep. I have to eat as and when I can (when the anxiety isn't causing me bother).

I am just so tired with it all, yet I don't sleep properly, I wake up every couple of hours. I am fighting so hard and trying so hard to feel like me.

Mip
x

I know there is a "me" somewhere inside that is happy and isn't anxious and is connected and where who am I doesn't bother me.....

Also this is really getting my husband down too, he is suffering I think, he was very quiet with me yesterday and didn't really say much to me, which then made me cry.

 

[Sojourner]

I have an idea, which you might dismiss the minute you hear it, but which I hope you'll at least consider:

Pretend that you are that person you used to be. Just play the part, like a good stage actress would. Be her.

See what happens.

If I were you, I'd probably try it, because it seems as if you are stuck at the moment and have nothing whatever to lose.

 

[Mipmunk]

feel a bit better today, not 100% but slowly connecting.

Mip
x

 

[Da'Burgh]

I've had this for 6 months, no remorse. You'll pull through.

 

[person3]

FIFTEEN WEEKS?

FIFTEEN FREAKING WEEKS?

Shit man, I've completed over 120 college hours during my time with dp.

and you're upset over fifteen weeks?

i'm trying to sit here figuring out how many months 15 weeks is.

oh yeah. less than four.

fuck, i was just getting warmed up at fifteen weeks.

why don't you like, be happy or something, because you have shown SOME improvement in those weeks?!

and god quit asking questiosn like how are you gonna connect back with yourself. this is a DP board, not a freakin' new age chakra yak yak healing mantra class. you'll connect with yourself when you stop giving a shit where the fear came from.

 

[Guest]

Wow Person three...........why all the anger??? I thought this board was to support those who are suffering!!!!! If you did not like her post or did not agree with it you could just ignore it. But to pounce on someone who is suffering......... that's just not cool.

Sassy

 

[Sojourner]

deleted

 

[LOSTONE]

Person I think that the worst time for me was when I first got dp/dr.
I remember every second felt like an eternity. I think one hour with bad dp/dr is one hour to much, and it gives the right to sob and whine.

Mipmunk you do need to come to terms with the idea that you might have this illness for a very long time.

P.S.
Just a little insight I have about you Mipmunk.
I might be wrong but you almost sound like deep down you actually enjoy feeling miserable.
I know, I know, I am out of line but think about it because I realy get the feeling that you enjoy feeling miserable.
Why do I get this impression :? ?

 

[Da'Burgh]

person3, I think you were way out of line with your post. It was kind of harsh don't you think? You just kept going and going... :shock:

On the other hand though, Mipmunk, you do seem to be obsessed with your progress. You post very often. The point of getting rid of DP/DR is trying to stop checking in with how you feel and seeking reassurance. It's very hard to do, and yes I'm very glad you are getting better, but many of your posts almost seem exactly the same.

 

[person3]

sorry, i was in a real bad mood. i went off on some other people too. my bad...

however, the fact that you, Mipmunk, have already shown improvement after 15 weeks is EXTREMELY good...jesus...most of us have wished dearly for something that quick. What it means is that your chances for a quick recovery are very good. By quick I mean that it's not gonna drag on for years. You just keep having to go out doing what you're doing.

 

[person3]

looking back at an older post of yours I noticed you said you felt NORMAL one night. I did NOT feel NORMAL for a split second for a couple years! so you're having a time right now where it's back and you feel destined that it's forever...how quickly you forget that normal feeling...you got that back VERY quick.

 

[LOSTONE]

On the other hand though, Mipmunk, you do seem to be obsessed with your progress. You post very often. The point of getting rid of DP/DR is trying to stop checking in with how you feel and seeking reassurance. It's very hard to do, and yes I'm very glad you are getting better, but many of your posts almost seem exactly the same.

That is why I said that you enjoy feeling miserable. If you are improving why do you seem to be whinny. Be happy for your improvement .
You sound like you are doing better than many other people on here.

Keep up with the improvement.
Lay off the whinny postings.

P.S. It is a little offensive to here about someone that is improving but still complaining. If I wanted to I could fill this entire board with complaints about my horrible condition, but I try to stay positive.
When I here about how you are doing so much better than myself yet still you are actually complaining more than I am, I feel a little offended.
I understand why Person put up her post because I was wanting to write something similar myself.

 

[peacedove]

If you can't even whine to a support forum who the hell are you going to whine to?? I don't see anything wrong with Mipmunk's post and I have been suffering from DP for about 17 yrs now.

Mipmunk... if you got rid of it once you can do it again. Try to stay positive. You might want to read Janine's post "you cannot THINK or WATCH your way out of it" if you haven't already... if you have maybe read it again. You seem to be watching yourself way to closely and trying to analyze the situation too much. I know it's hard not to, but try.

KEEP POSTING. Everyone needs to vent somewhere.

 

[enigma]

Melissa, I want you to beat me.

e

 

[LOSTONE]

Good advice Peacedove.
It is good to keep posting but it's not good to keep focusing on the bad thoughts.

Mipmunk I just think you are doing a lot better then you are letting yourself think you are doing. You seem to be makeing yourself miserable.
But then again, we are all makeing ourselfs feel miserable I guess.
Thats why were here.

I am starting to think I will do better to not come around here so much anymore myself. I like the support here but I find myself thinking about my dp/dr more often by being here.
I am going to try and stay off the computer as much as I can from now on and spend more time living my life.

 

[Martinelv]

Anger, rage, fear, self-pity, guilt, self-loathing, depression, anxiety...almost everyone on this board has these terrible feelings to some extent or another. So it's no wonder people get uptight and post things they shouldn't, or rather things that they regret. But I agree - if you can't whine here, where can you whine ? Whining is fine, but people do get a little bored if the 'whiners' (i.e - everyone at some point) don't listen and try and absorb the advice they are given.

Best thing to do is take a deep breath and act like an adult, like I do all the time. :lol: