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I have suffered with DP on and off for 10 years. I had been perfectly okay for 20 months. When whilst I was at work the person I was working for was really rude and shouted at me. She has been a bit like this over the past few months. Well I was really upset. I came home. It was the day before I was due to go on holiday. Well my husband and I left to go on holiday, we had a lovely holiday, I was fine. When I got back from holiday I had a bit of a cold and sore throat and took a couple of days off work. I then had to go back into work. Things had been sorted out, but suddenly I started to feel panicky, nervous and not well again. I am sure it is a reaction to what happened to me earlier before my holiday. I started to feel scared of myself again and like I was losing my identity, being frightened of myself, I just feel like a body going around, I know I just don't feel like I normally do. The last time I had this I was on mirtazapine 30mgs and now I am taking Clonazapam to try and calm me down and stop the panic attacks. Can anyone else relate to this loss of identity and being frightened of themselves and who they really are. I know my name and what date it is. But I don't feel normal in myself, I feel like my head is full of cotton wool, and the question "who am I" disturbs me. Is this DP and is this a self defence mechanism that my brain has done to protect me from what happened to me at work?

Any thoughts. I just wanna feel normal again. The clonazepam take away the panic attacks and calm me down, but they make me sleep a lot, which means I can go to sleep and get away from myself. When I dream, in my dreams I am well and happy, but when I wake up, there it is....

Any views.

My name is Roxanne and I know that is what I am called but I don't feel like me. I also want to take showers all the time, I seem to feel the most normal in the shower.

Help

Roxanne
:( :(
 
G

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Hi Roxanne,

I just wonder, if you had Dp on and off for 10 years, do you know what helped Dp to go away last time?

Your welcome here and find many good people who understand you. What you describe, I have it and so are many people here on the board.
You are not alone.

Cynthia xxx
 

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Can anyone else relate to this loss of identity and being frightened of themselves and who they really are. I know my name and what date it is. But I don't feel normal in myself, I feel like my head is full of cotton wool, and the question "who am I" disturbs me.
this is constantly on my mind as my body feels so wrong and my surroundings feel so wrong...

i am so very frightened of myself...

it is horrible...

sorry to hear you have felt like this on and off for 10 years...

i hope you find comfort and help here...

we all support and understand you :)[/quote]
 

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The anticipation of going back to work to face your mean boss caused anxiety and pushed you nack into a DP state?
 
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