[lily5]

I'm not sure if I really have DP, I haven't talked to my doctor speicifically about it but I really have no doubt that it is DP. I started feeling really strange about a month and a half ago. It came on very suddenly and it was really weird, all of a sudden my vision started to become strange. Not blurry, almost like tunnel vision, things were very sharp though. My legs got weak and I felt sick and I started to panic. I didn't know how to describe what I was feeling, I could only say my head felt weird. I ended up in my doctors office later that day and she did blood work and later on ordered an MRI. I later felt so bad I went to the ER that night. After a normal MRI, and about a week and a half my symptoms went away and I felt normal again. I had also had an episode earlier before this where I was at dinner and I randomly started to completely lose it, like I didn't know when I was conscious and when I was in a dream like state it was really scary, almost like my mind kept falling asleep. The symptoms of depersonalization came back and I kept going back to my doctors who said it's anxiety. I didn't bring up depersonalization, but Ive come to the conclusion its likely from anxiety/panic attacks. Some days I feel completely normal, and other days the symptoms are so severe it's extremely debilitating and leaves me feeling hopeless and awful. My pcp referred me to a psychologist for anxiety after I had a breakdown at the hospital because I believed with every ounce of my being I was having a heart attack (which apparently was just a panic attack). Also recently i've been having extremely vivid and long extensive dreams every single night. Theyre normal dreams, but extremely vivid and it just feels like they last longer than my dreams used to. And somtimes right before I fall asleep I'll jolt awake because Its almost as if my body forgets to breathe and I have to catch my breath and it really startles me. Im scared to go to sleep.

My symptoms:

Extreme feelings of being unreal/detached

Like theres a glass barrier between me and the rest of the world

In a dream

tunnel vision/extreme clarity

occasional onsets of dizziness/stumbling when the deatatchment is really bad

Exhausted mind

fear im going crazy or schizophrenic

panicked thoughts

trouble concentrating

fuzzy mind/mild difficulty with short term memory at times

looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself as a person

When i talk, i get chills because it doesnt feel like im actually talking it feels like im a foreign entity and i dont recognize my own voice

Im so scared, if i feel like this any longer i might lose my mind

 

[Bree123]

It does sound like DP/DR, your symptoms are literally just like mine, even the falling asleep thing, but dpdr was brought on by marijuana for me. Sorry that you're going through this, it's really awful. I've seen lots of doctors and psychologists and none of them have known what I meant when I said 'depersonalization,' they just told me it was anxiety. Which of course it is for me, but I feel like dpdr is more than just anxiety haha. Anyways I finally found one psychologist that understood dpdr, so if you decide to see a psychologist you might need to 'shop around' to find one that you like/that understands dpdr. Otherwise I also take medication, which is totally optional, but has helped my anxiety and depression so I can live a somewhat normal life, go to school, etc. without dpdr getting too much in the way.

I suggest you look into some relaxation techniques. I personally love yoga, meditation, and exercise to relieve stress and relax my mind. I also like aromatherapy as a way to relax. Anything you can do to get your mind of anxiety and dpdr is very helpful. For instance, I'm in university, which is a LOT of work, but I find it really helpful for anxiety/depression/dpdr because my brain is focussing so hard on my school work that I hardly have any time to worry about things.

Welcome to the forum, I hope you can find some help on here and in the real world!