[Light in the dark]

Dear readers, I like to share my experience. For 14 months I suffer from depersonalization and HPPD. It all started with truffles. I had the worst trip of my life, fear, absent and all symptoms of the Alice in Wonderland syndrome. When I looked at my fingers during the trip they were so small that I hit panic. I therefore went out during the trip. A few months later I had smoked a joint and what an experience. Laughed a lot. I then decided by peer pressure to agree to smoke with a white whidow. This was the foutste decision of my life. A horrible flashback to the truffle trip. This time I also feel like my head was so small that my teeth were in my throat. Because of this I had a stifling effect. After this trip, I could not smell the smell of cannabis. From the smell I noticed something I got back a flashback to the truffle trip and it was always so. When I went to a festival in which someone was smoking and I got a panic attack. The other day I was awake and saw the world is no longer the same. Fear and flashback control my life. My symptoms are..
Visual
-floaters
-after images
-visual snow
-pixels
-gas seeing
-microscopia
-macroscopia

Psych:
-fear
-memory loss
-black outs
-unable to sleep
-no emotions
-feeling not there
-feeling not myself
-trouble focussing

Body symptoms:
-tingeling fingers
-heat attacks
-muscle cramp
-stumach isseus
-libido and erectile problem
I hope you can help me because i cant do this any longer..i am taking citalopram for 7 days now no effect. My afterimages/double seeing is 24/7 nothing wrong with my eyes no neuro complaints. Help me guys sorry for the bad english i am from europe. God bless everyone here and i hope you all get cured for the new year lots of love.

 

[BooBear]

I completely understand where you're coming from, I'm experiencing something extremely similar to you. Know that you are not alone. Although meditation doesn't help me as much as it used to, if you chose the right kind it can help a bit. One of the ones that help is to lay on your back, concentrate on your breathing and start concentration on your toes until you almost feel like your breathing from your toes. Slowly move on to your legs, hips, stomach, chest, throat, face, head. This can help you feel a bit more "connected" to your body. When you do this, remember that YOU are the one meditating, YOU are the one making the parts of your body "breath" and that YOU are the one controlling the meditaion with your conscious mind.

Best of luck.