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Mate, I'm probably one of the more pro-drink people on here. Still, though, I think you need to stop doing this.

I've haven't been on here very much recently, but I've still seen this pattern seeming to repeat itself with you. You know you're drinking to escape it all. But at the same time you know it's not working - and that it never will work. It's just one of those difficult changes you'll have to make in order to recover.

Let us know how you're doing later on today. All the best,
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