Don't worry, you're not enlightened! I spent years on that path, and this particular insight occurred early on. There are many such insights/landmines scattered along that path, and most are profoundly disorientating and take a long time to adapt to.
You deeply underestimate how hard it is to bring about that kind of transformation in your day-to-day awareness. The perceptions you describe won't last long: maybe a few days or a couple of weeks, probably less.
99.9% of the work of enlightenment/liberation is enduring this level of mental turmoil over many years while you singlemindedly integrate these insights into every aspect and corner of your life, and dismantle the source of those emotions. Enlightenment isn't a sudden, explosive event, like these realizations; more like a tree quietly shedding its leaves in autumn. It would take a tremendous love of truth and an unflinching willingness for total self-sacrifice to reach the end of this path.
Having said all this, I see critical flaws in the reasoning behind enlightenment. There is a lot of truth in it, and the nature of existence is laid bare with the concepts of interdependent origination, lack of inherent existence, and emptiness. Ultimately, however, they seem like half-truths because certain aspects of reality are glaringly overlooked (in particular, the transcendental), and it over-simplifies and trivializes everything.
Those few individuals that I know of who I believe have achieved liberation did not really inspire me to go all the way, and though I believe there is profound peace in total non-attachment, I don't think it's much more than can be achieved with a lobotomy.
You threatened the substantiality and boundaries of your ego (belief in inherent self-existence) just a little bit by identifying it with nothingness and with the totality, so it's throwing a fit with the anxiety and DP as a warning so that you don't ever get it into your head to do it again!
You deeply underestimate how hard it is to bring about that kind of transformation in your day-to-day awareness. The perceptions you describe won't last long: maybe a few days or a couple of weeks, probably less.
99.9% of the work of enlightenment/liberation is enduring this level of mental turmoil over many years while you singlemindedly integrate these insights into every aspect and corner of your life, and dismantle the source of those emotions. Enlightenment isn't a sudden, explosive event, like these realizations; more like a tree quietly shedding its leaves in autumn. It would take a tremendous love of truth and an unflinching willingness for total self-sacrifice to reach the end of this path.
Having said all this, I see critical flaws in the reasoning behind enlightenment. There is a lot of truth in it, and the nature of existence is laid bare with the concepts of interdependent origination, lack of inherent existence, and emptiness. Ultimately, however, they seem like half-truths because certain aspects of reality are glaringly overlooked (in particular, the transcendental), and it over-simplifies and trivializes everything.
Those few individuals that I know of who I believe have achieved liberation did not really inspire me to go all the way, and though I believe there is profound peace in total non-attachment, I don't think it's much more than can be achieved with a lobotomy.
You threatened the substantiality and boundaries of your ego (belief in inherent self-existence) just a little bit by identifying it with nothingness and with the totality, so it's throwing a fit with the anxiety and DP as a warning so that you don't ever get it into your head to do it again!
