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Oh man. Listen, i know exactly how your feeling right now. My dad died a little over a year ago. For a long time, it was as if i had forgotten he existed. Id have moments where id remember him but feel nothing about the memory, like i didnt care. And when the dp got bad, it was as if ALL of my memories for my whole life were not my own. I blocked out almost all of my memorys of him. What your going through is shock and yes, the grief may have been put on hold for you right now. Its painful! And your subconscious knows this. Eventually, if you allow it, and after some time, you will probably start to really grieve and feel sad but DO NOT beat yourself up for feeling the way you are right now. Or lack of feeling that is. The pain and shock of this is understandable. Dont create expectations of how you should be feeling. Everyone deals with this in their own way. Im sorry for your loss, esspesially since it was a boyfriend who is someone you were very bonded to. Thats a hard situation. I lost my dad and to loss anyone close to you can be traumatizing.
To answer your question: yes, it seems you may be experiancing dissociation right now. I had the same thing happen after my dads death.
What your doing right now by reaching out for help and perspective is a very helpful thing to do for yourself right now. Id also reccomend when you are able to, getting a therapist who specializes in dissociation or a grief counselor is a good way to go. They can definently help put into perspective whats going on right now. If you need someone to talk to too, you can always pm me as i have dealt with a really similar grieving process and if not, thats cool too. Just know that what your experiancing has been experianced by others too and youll get through this.
 
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