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Please help I need advice

585 Views 2 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Emptyflask
Hi guys so I've written on this page before in the past few months. I need serious advice.

Before I got DP 6 months ago I was a totally different person ... fearless , never had theses stupid existential thoughts , motivated and goal oriented , went to the gym , was the definition of a social butterfly. Loved and cared overly too much about my friends and family. Had a new job and boyfriend. Things were going amazing.

Then this DP/DR hits me out of nowhere while I'm sleeping .... so bizarre. I've had this 24/7.

Come present day: I don't go out of the house only if I have to , I'm freaked out by existence like why're we all here (believed in God beforehand), don't go to the gym I attempted to ancouple months ago and felt worse and disconnected & totally weak , everytime I speak to someone I can speak fine but I just think how words are just made up , I think nothing matters (very depressed and I've never been depressed) , what's the point of anything if we die. Like this is the TOTAL opposite of me.

I know I can control my actions i'm still in charge at the end of the day , but now when I look up at the sky I just think how we're on a huge ball in the middle of a sky so what's the point in anything and that also kind of freaks me out.

So me and my boyfriend moved into an apartment two months ago and I don't have a job and he's been paying for rent and understands my situation but eventually he's gonna have to stop and he wants me to get back out there and work. I don't feel in my body , I feel so in my head I just wanna be alive again. He met me as this complete other person (my true self) and now I'm simply not and he knows that.

What do I do like even my mom asks what's wrong and I literally do nothing but sit in bed all day ... don't clean don't do anything. I went to Rhode Island like three weeks ago (I live in New York) like I can travel and talk no problem but I just keep thinking like what's the point. I just want it to go away , I don't wanna lose my boyfriend.

What do I do guys I feel so hopeless :/
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Im probably being a hypocrite by giving advice about the same issue i have and not fully taking my own advice or other peoples for that matter but before those distressing thoughts about what the point is gets any worse for you, you can try doing these things: i know it feels impossible because every action you do seems so strange, unreal or pointless but you need to get out and experiance life if you want to get better. I know the anxiety is crippling but itll get better. Get an existential therapist or possibly one who specializes in ocd even if you dont have ocd, dpdr tends to give sufferers similar symptoms to ocd or make it develop temporarily. I have problems with this myself but you should try not to give meaning a significance. Even if theres no reason or point to life or whatever doesnt mean its a bad thing. Its depressing and anxiety fueling because youve assigned a negative meaning to the idea of there possibly being no point and thats why it gives you so much anxiety. Thats what im trying to do myself is detatch this negative value to it so i can possibly live life since i have this instinctual will to live and hopefully its my last hurdle in all this existential nonsense...
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