I completely agree with @WHERE.Hi guys so I've written on this page before in the past few months. I need serious advice.
Before I got DP 6 months ago I was a totally different person ... fearless , never had theses stupid existential thoughts , motivated and goal oriented , went to the gym , was the definition of a social butterfly. Loved and cared overly too much about my friends and family. Had a new job and boyfriend. Things were going amazing.
Then this DP/DR hits me out of nowhere while I'm sleeping .... so bizarre. I've had this 24/7.
Come present day: I don't go out of the house only if I have to , I'm freaked out by existence like why're we all here (believed in God beforehand), don't go to the gym I attempted to ancouple months ago and felt worse and disconnected & totally weak , everytime I speak to someone I can speak fine but I just think how words are just made up , I think nothing matters (very depressed and I've never been depressed) , what's the point of anything if we die. Like this is the TOTAL opposite of me.
I know I can control my actions i'm still in charge at the end of the day , but now when I look up at the sky I just think how we're on a huge ball in the middle of a sky so what's the point in anything and that also kind of freaks me out.
So me and my boyfriend moved into an apartment two months ago and I don't have a job and he's been paying for rent and understands my situation but eventually he's gonna have to stop and he wants me to get back out there and work. I don't feel in my body , I feel so in my head I just wanna be alive again. He met me as this complete other person (my true self) and now I'm simply not and he knows that.
What do I do like even my mom asks what's wrong and I literally do nothing but sit in bed all day ... don't clean don't do anything. I went to Rhode Island like three weeks ago (I live in New York) like I can travel and talk no problem but I just keep thinking like what's the point. I just want it to go away , I don't wanna lose my boyfriend.
What do I do guys I feel so hopeless :/
Staying in bed or inside your house all day is the worst thing you can do right now. As he suggested, try to get a part time job (if i were you my preference would be a dog walker or something like that) where you have less stress and earn something that will give you some confidence on your mind and body. Try to go back to the gym, because exercise did miracles for me and so many other DPDR sufferers. i'm not exaggerating one bit. I'm quite hopeful it will help you as well. The key is to not be by yourself all day without any physical and mental activity, because it is a rabbit hole and you're never gonna get out of it this way.