Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, Creative! My comment; "I read that they want to get rid of you...! :wink: " was directed at Captain K. Let me elaborate: There's a board on the Depersonalization Community Forum Index titled Euphoria! With Captain K. If you click on that, you will see a post which one of the members (Pure Narcotic) started, titled, This section sucks.
You see, I'm still pretty new here, despite posting quite a lot (I always waffle away and kerfuffle people!), and I was attempting to pull Revelation's leg. He's the Site Administrator and also 'Captain K' (Or so I had assumed? I hope nobody's going to now tell me that Captain K is actually someone else! LOL)
However, I've never once uttered a word to Revelation before, and I was just taking the opportunity to jokingly make him sweat that we might all gang up and request to sink Euphoria (The nerve of me!)! :wink:
Basically, Euphoria! With Captain K is a board where I enjoy to go and read posts when I'm feeling in an extremely silly mood. Euphoria is the name of Captain K's ship. Try to read a few posts there, so you'll know what I'm on about. I absolutely love it aboard Euphoria, as I've got a vivid imagination and I enjoy a good giggle!
Pure Narcotic was half-joking that this particular section sucked, and Enigma agreed with him, which is why I used the words, 'they' want to get rid of you! As you will read, Captain K is having none of it! :lol:
My heart went out to you just now, whilst I read your post - especially as I can see you had posted it at 1.11pm. All these hours, and nobody's replied to your message - yet again! I expect you must have been feeling quite puzzled, to say the least...
Also, I take forever to type, as I can only use two fingers!
I'm sure you haven't said or done anything to offend anybody here. You see, a large percentage of members in this forum don't post. They just read things, hoping to find a way to recover. I've read a few posts from members who send their first post after spending many months only reading here. So even though you may see lots of people viewing your posts, remember that there are a lot who are too shy, etc., to reply.
I expect I sound like a right know-it-all, don't I? I honestly don't mean to. I don't know half of what most other members know about Dp/Dr. Being highly opinionated is one of my worst faults, and I always seem to be much worse when I'm 'speeding', as I describe it. The amount of times I've unintentionally offended people is unbelievable!
Incidently, I still haven't slept! I haven't even attempted to get into bed, as i know it's a completely pointless task when I'm like this. I intend to write my next post to Janine Baker, who is a Moderator on here. Janine has fully recovered from her hellish years of Dp/Dr
and gives the most wonderful advice to all on here. She's a very wise, caring person and is also a genius! I'm hoping she might suggest what I can do to prevent my regular speeding episodes...
I wrote that if your hubby admitted to it, it would show he is a strong man, simply for the sake of him possibly reading my words, because a stranger's words may make him begin to realise that you were right about it, after all. It would most probably help even more, if some male sufferers also expressed their opinions on whether Dp/Dr is something they feel ashamed of or not (Any takers, gents?).
I had already assumed that you shared the same opinions as mine, on stamping out the stigma, and the same points of views, that it is noones fault, etc.. Yes, I had assumed all this, Creation, based only on what you had already written. I could actually visualise you pulling your hair out, while trying to get him to believe you would not respect him less, etc.. LOL
I frequently don't explain myself very well to people. It's as if I assume they must know what I'm talking about, despite the fact that I often leave essential words or sentences out. Yet the truth is that I don't realise I've missed out significant words or sentences. My mind's far too busy thinking about half a dozen other completely different things at the same time as I write. Yes, now I realise I sound absolutely bonkers! :lol:
Ah, yes! I have heard of Borderline Personality Disorder. I have a friend of a friend who thought he could be suffering from this. I don't know much about it, but you have my deep sympathies - especially as you get suicidal thoughts, triggered from feeling rejected by your hubby. I'm sorry to hear you have abandonment issues. However (getting back to your hubby), I'm sure he doesn't make you feel rejected intentionally (If it is Dp) - it's just really is sooooo difficult to put into words.
I would be interested to learn more about BPD, but not just yet. Thanks for the offer. I'm currently extremely busy, trying to work; trying to settle into four other different types of forums (as well as this one); trying for a baby; and we're also trying to finish off decorating our home. If it's okay with you, Creation, I'll PM you when I've got some spare time to learn?
My partner thankfully suffers from no mental disorder, yet it's awful to see how distant and rejected he looks, whenever I'm emotionally numb. I do go through phases of neglecting him, but then I always try to make it up to him as soon as I'm feeling well enough to.
Even though I rarely get Dp/Dr these days, my main problem is Depression and Anxiety, so I can relate to suicidal thoughts. Actually, many years ago, before I took medication, I had two attempts. Depression runs in my family. Thankfully, my partner reciprocates my love and I trust he'll never disrespect me because of any mental disorders I suffer from.
I didn't mean to seem as if I was asking you about a Dp/Dr only acceptability rule on this forum. Creation, you should let most of what I say go over your head when I'm in this state of mind! Perhaps I shouldn't even be posting anything when I'm speeding? I dunno...
You have a very good point about my suggestion for a board on here for partners of Dp/Dr sufferers. I personally would like to read what the partners say and feel, as it's often difficult to get my partner to open up and talk about his feelings. Mind you, it's like that with most men, due to what's drummed into their heads as they're growing up. Oh, dear! That's yet another stigma! Groan... :wink:
Take care,
Sunshine
