Does anybody have avoidance things they feel they need to do to prevent Dp feelings coming up? Like do you have some "can't do's" in yur daily living but want to get over them? If anybody has gotten over a phobia like being stuck in traffic or riding in cars with people, how did you get over it? I'mot trying to cloud things up here. I just have Dp alot worse in thosesi]tuation so hope I am on topic here or maybe need some other board?
Phobias?
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You go after what's really bothering you; after you deal with that you will have no more need for the phobia.
I have many "can't do's", but I can't say I've gotten over any of them. Car trips.... traveling of any kind is a huge deal for me. Especially on expressways.
I hate to recommend drugs, but a few weeks ago I had to go on like an hour train ride and then an hour boat ride... I took a xanax about a half hour before each one and I was fine. I actually enjoyed the boat. Amazing.
Besides that stretching and deep breathing help sometimes.
I hate to recommend drugs, but a few weeks ago I had to go on like an hour train ride and then an hour boat ride... I took a xanax about a half hour before each one and I was fine. I actually enjoyed the boat. Amazing.
Besides that stretching and deep breathing help sometimes.
Thank you Sojourner & peacedove. Regarding getting to what is REALLy bothering me in the panic situations, maybe I haven't gone far enough in exploring. Frankly when I was first told years ago that DP and panic symptoms are covering something I don't want to experience, I still cannot imagine what I could be avoiding inside me and opting to feel this way instead! It must be immense! I have a sense that if I went back to when I first felt this way it may help, but I haven't ever been in that type of counseling. I do use meds as well, peacedove, so it's fine with me that you bring it up. I understand the expressway reaction..all the cold greyness of it all, all the rushing, and worst of all for me, the closed in feeling if traffic is heavy or God forbid a wreck where there is NO movement of cars. I just want to abandon the damn car and walk!! Well, run, actually. To some woods or something. I tried to think of the other drivers as friends and not the robots they seem like to me. And I aassign big fear to ever having to be SEEN in a panic episode by strangers. Unsafe feeling all around. I am sure I have work to do to broaden my comfort zoned limited life. I want to be free. I'm sick of fear. I think it is great you went on the train and boat, peacedove. Damn congratualtions! Have you ever "gotten through" something and instead of giving self credit had the obsessive thoughts of "Yeah I survived it but just barely"!!? It seems like like part of my cycle to be resistant to success. Ughhh I am feeling such a mess. I turn down all kinds of social things due to the driving thing. Or big crowds like baseball games. I love baseball. I just want to be braver and stronger and relaxed. In other words, more normal. None of my friends or acquaintances has anything like this. So glad I found this board. Thanks again.
Jake:
I know exactly what you mean, I used to have season ticket to Redskins Football,, I loved it, I loved being there. Now I am afraid to go , to be in that crowd of people, to feel panic....
Yesterday was a good day. Today though, I am sitting at lunch with the fellows from the office, and I see there mouths moving, but I hear half of what is going on, I seem to revert too often to living in my head and not out of it. Janine always says focus outwards and it does work, but I still lapse back sometimes into my head, where the rest of the world is just a blur, I really have to concentrate to keep up with the conversation.
I don't have any trouble expressing toughts, like writing this but around others , well they look foreign but I guess thats the way its going to be until I complete recover.
KC
I know exactly what you mean, I used to have season ticket to Redskins Football,, I loved it, I loved being there. Now I am afraid to go , to be in that crowd of people, to feel panic....
Yesterday was a good day. Today though, I am sitting at lunch with the fellows from the office, and I see there mouths moving, but I hear half of what is going on, I seem to revert too often to living in my head and not out of it. Janine always says focus outwards and it does work, but I still lapse back sometimes into my head, where the rest of the world is just a blur, I really have to concentrate to keep up with the conversation.
I don't have any trouble expressing toughts, like writing this but around others , well they look foreign but I guess thats the way its going to be until I complete recover.
KC
Hey KC, yep I know. There's a game coming up August 21st I have a ticket and some 23 other people all got the discount too through a guy I know. It's the new ballpark and I haven't been to it yet! AND it is the day before my 50th birthday. I mean, geez, logically all things would point to my being excited to go, alas this damn fear stuff has no sense! Hey do you like your job? Sometimes when the other people are fuzzy I would think up ways to make my job more interesting. I'll share this with you, you might get a kick out of it:
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This anxiety stuff gets in the way of relationships too. I had a girlfriend a few years back and we wanted to go to one of the last drive-in movies around here. I explained to her (we were double-dating with another couple, s'posed to meet there) how I had this phobia of anone riding in the car with me. So she rode with the other couple, I parked then she joined me in my car!! Lord, the accomodations ae ridiculous eh? She asked me if I was going to ride her home or would she have to lay on the car hood like a hood ornament. Haa..she had a sense of humor. I didn't. I managed to ride her home through gritted teeth and so on. Needless to say we didn't date long!
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This anxiety stuff gets in the way of relationships too. I had a girlfriend a few years back and we wanted to go to one of the last drive-in movies around here. I explained to her (we were double-dating with another couple, s'posed to meet there) how I had this phobia of anone riding in the car with me. So she rode with the other couple, I parked then she joined me in my car!! Lord, the accomodations ae ridiculous eh? She asked me if I was going to ride her home or would she have to lay on the car hood like a hood ornament. Haa..she had a sense of humor. I didn't. I managed to ride her home through gritted teeth and so on. Needless to say we didn't date long!
KC I had two other thoughts to share. After a really good session sometimes there is a hangover from just the sheer hard work and elation of the session going well. You might just be tired.
#2. Here's my twisted spin on people talking and my spacing out. Have you ever considered that a lot of people are kind of boring? Haaaaa. I know thats wicked to say but I find people who have suffered much more "real" and interesting than the average Joe's and Joans.
I know for me I need to find the value in other people to a reasonable extent, but I just had that thought about boring people cuz I've never been good at NAMING what I actually might be experiencing. And it's certainly never been ok in my mind to think anything bordering on negativity or just neutrality about others. But I am learning that's ok. I've been such a people pleaser my whole life! Sometimes I realize though that they are not boring but rather I am envious of how they seemingly just roll on with life with no difficulty. I think that's kinda judgemental of me though. I have no idea how they are on the inside. Well, you get what I mean. Nice chattin with ya!
#2. Here's my twisted spin on people talking and my spacing out. Have you ever considered that a lot of people are kind of boring? Haaaaa. I know thats wicked to say but I find people who have suffered much more "real" and interesting than the average Joe's and Joans.
I know for me I need to find the value in other people to a reasonable extent, but I just had that thought about boring people cuz I've never been good at NAMING what I actually might be experiencing. And it's certainly never been ok in my mind to think anything bordering on negativity or just neutrality about others. But I am learning that's ok. I've been such a people pleaser my whole life! Sometimes I realize though that they are not boring but rather I am envious of how they seemingly just roll on with life with no difficulty. I think that's kinda judgemental of me though. I have no idea how they are on the inside. Well, you get what I mean. Nice chattin with ya!
Pretty funny story. I do indeed know what you are saying. Generally I do like my job, I over see our network and servers here at work . However it does give me too much time to think sometimes.
I just would like to completely be my oldself so that I could enjoy going places and doing things, and not have to pay strict attention , but to hear things normally and see things normally. But my therapist took out a chinese finger cuff yesterday. you know the woven material that if you put your index fingers in the harder you struggle the more frustrated you are that you cant get your finger out of it . But if you stop pulling so hard it releases you finger and your free. He said this is what i do , fight that I am feeling this way instead of living with it , focus on doing things and not internally.
I am trying. I am 47 and I have never been like this until this past Thanksgiving. I have been outgoing and the life of the party my whole life long.. I have had some anxiety but never to this extent. Well here I am and man would I love to be able to relax at a game without thinking I got to get the hell out of here.
I just would like to completely be my oldself so that I could enjoy going places and doing things, and not have to pay strict attention , but to hear things normally and see things normally. But my therapist took out a chinese finger cuff yesterday. you know the woven material that if you put your index fingers in the harder you struggle the more frustrated you are that you cant get your finger out of it . But if you stop pulling so hard it releases you finger and your free. He said this is what i do , fight that I am feeling this way instead of living with it , focus on doing things and not internally.
I am trying. I am 47 and I have never been like this until this past Thanksgiving. I have been outgoing and the life of the party my whole life long.. I have had some anxiety but never to this extent. Well here I am and man would I love to be able to relax at a game without thinking I got to get the hell out of here.
"Frankly when I was first told years ago that DP and panic symptoms are covering something I don't want to experience, I still cannot imagine what I could be avoiding inside me and opting to feel this way instead! It must be immense!"
Your "little helper" thinks it's the worst thing in the world, but it may well not be, once your unconscious tells you what it is.
And you nailed it: We cannot imagine what we are avoiding; all we can do is observe what our "little helper" (unconscious) dribbles out through dreams, associations, and so forth. This is why "talking therapy" reveals your unconscious. You may not be aware of anything coming out of your mouth that's significant, but an astute therapist can and will ask you something about it, maybe not right at that moment, but shortly after you bring it up.
You will never find out what it is by looking for it. It has to come out while you are talking about "anything that comes to mind" to your therapist.
Your "little helper" thinks it's the worst thing in the world, but it may well not be, once your unconscious tells you what it is.
And you nailed it: We cannot imagine what we are avoiding; all we can do is observe what our "little helper" (unconscious) dribbles out through dreams, associations, and so forth. This is why "talking therapy" reveals your unconscious. You may not be aware of anything coming out of your mouth that's significant, but an astute therapist can and will ask you something about it, maybe not right at that moment, but shortly after you bring it up.
You will never find out what it is by looking for it. It has to come out while you are talking about "anything that comes to mind" to your therapist.
I have been discovering through therapy what a lot of my deep problems are and sometimes I get relief or sometimes I get new symptoms to replace the old ones because I haven't still dealt with things totally. Alot of my issues I am discovering are resentment based.
So anyway there you have it.
Now How to deal with the resentment, and let go of it so I feel better?
So anyway there you have it.
Now How to deal with the resentment, and let go of it so I feel better?
KC, yeah I have strained to try to recapture the old me who was pretty much fearless and didn't have to constantly monitor. It kicks me in the self esteem to feel like such a weakling, yet deep down I know it takes utter courage to face this stuff down and go to therapy. I think you are doing many acts of bravery man, and the old you probably wasn't ever this strong. I guess we have to be ok for the time being in the "teachable" mode, ride out the storms and keep the faith. I'm gona start therapy soon, I have some names now to go through. RE: Resentment, I am lucky enough to have become alcoholic and get in recovery and there's a cool way we deal wth resentment. You could ask your therapist if you could "borrow" the step, it might help. Or he/she might have a better idea. At any rate, just to know resentment is a major one for you is huge step and honesty has rewards, I do know that. Be cool, talk again soon.
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