[Sobxarre]

So I have had dpdr since childhood but it's only been ongoing twice, both times lasting for around six months and both times I was helped greatly by anti anxiety medication. I have been free from it for three years HOWEVER
a month ago I decided I was well enough to come off my SSRI, within two weeks the dpdr was back full force, all the usual symptoms I don't need to explain, I'd become hysterical at night, crying, screaming, calling crisis lines because I was terrified, having already beat dpdr twice I know how hard it is and did not want to do it again.
I've been back on my meds for two weeks, the first week as expected was hell, got a lot worse. Then I woke up one day feeling better, I could leave the house which was huge and everything looked a little more normal.
Now for the past three days I've been soul crushingly, scary sad. My head feels empty and I somehow feel both numb and awfully depressed. I'm still grateful things aren't as bad, I could still leave the house if I wanted to, I'm not scared anymore, but I really can't even describe the depth of this sadness. I know I need to keep busy and socialise, I know how to overcome the dpdr completely but it's extremely hard when I have no motivation due to the depression.

Has anyone else gone through this?
Please no negative comments, I'm way too sensitive for that atm.
Thanks

 

[Zpgrimm]

Hello Sobxarre,

Sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. I am in the same boat so I understand how you feel. I have had dp/dr since I was 19 and I am 36 now. I have a flare up about once every two years and it last for about 6-7 months like you. My advice would to be patient and realize that the meds worked once and that they will work again. I really think that you just need to give it time. I would suggest doing what makes you feel the most comfortable at the moment i.e. binging on Netflix, eating junk food (In moderation of coarse). napping, whatever makes you feel calm. What is the SSRI you've been on?

Thanks,

Zach

 

[Sobxarre]

Thank you for being so kind.
I am on paroxetine, wouldn't recommend it because it's a hell of a drug, I don't think I'll ever be able to come off it. Definitely hasn't cured the dpdr but makes it so I don't fear it anymore which I think helps me to live somewhat normally until it fades away.
Are you on any medication?
Does the fact you've been experiencing these episodes for so long make them any easier to handle or are they always just horrible?
Thank you again

 

[Saschasascha]

You could look into Clomipramine.

 

[Sobxarre]

Update: back to my normal as can be self and doing well ☺

 

[Numb_1993]

Great to hear you're doing better did you try another med ?

 

[Sobxarre]

Great to hear you're doing better did you try another med ?

No I didn't. I feel like I may be on paxil forever which I hate because it has a lot of downsides and I can't be pregnant on it which as a 28 year old woman sucks. I'm happy to be able to function though.