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Panic attacks and medical procedures...

539 Views 20 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  rainboteers
Eight years ago I was diagnosed with something called psuedotumor cerebri, and please don't be to concerned it sounds so much worse than it actually is. It is when there is to much spinal fluid in your head and it causes similar symptoms to an actual brain tumor. The absolute worst that can happen is some vision lose, and that is only if you don't get treated. I sure hope I don't have anyone reading freaking out thinking you have this, it is rather rare. When I was first diagnosed they did a spinal tap on me and that pretty much took care of things, until lately...

I seem to falling apart lately, low thyroid, low blood sugar, depression, anxiety, dp/dr and the damn headaches are back full force. :x Went to the dr. and things aren't looking good. They want to do another spinal tap to drain the fluid (just incase). This leads me to my problem. I have to be awake during this and VERY still. I am terrified I will have a panic attack and start shaking or hyperventalating (which would very dangerous). I have voiced my concerns to the dr., but he sort rolled his eyes at me. I know that everything will most likely be okay, but I am terrified. Any tips on how to stay calm and collected when you are in a situation that makes you panic? I realize that most of you won't be able to relate (thank God), but I just thought I would ask...

When it rains it pours
pseudotumor cerebri poem :cry:

Tonight, I sit, at home, alone
My heart strings strike a heavy tone.
How much longer, will I, can I, be alone?

How can I seek your heart to steal?
When my emotions are exaggerated or blunted, but seldom real?
How can you understand, or know how I feel?

Could you be with me if you knew?
If you knew all I am going through?
Like, sometimes, for a moment, I might not remember you?

When my head is full, and it's hard to speak
My tongue is twisted and my mood is bleak
Could you be my strength, as I feel weak?

When I'm weary and tired and feeling the drain
Of the dizzy feelings and frequent pain
Could you be my sunshine, amid the rain?

Could you hold me close, as the room spins 'round
To keep me from falling to the ground?
And could you sing to me above the whooshing sound?

Could help me see, if I lost my sight?
Could you stand with me, in this constant fight?
Should I even be asking? Do I have the right?


*The PTC Creed*

I promise to accept the fact that I have PTC, a neurological disorder which will limit my abilities in my every day life.

While I will always have PTC, some days will be good, and some days will be bad. I will be thankful for the good days and try to make the most of them. When I am having a bad day, I will try to remember that most likely it will not last.

When I am having a bad day, I will listen to my body, and get the rest that I need. I will let my family know that I am not feeling well, because they cannot read my mind.

I will not feel guilty about resting, because I will eventually begin to feel better, and in the long run, it will also benefit my family.

I will not feel guilty or worry about the work that is not getting done while I am resting. The world will not fall apart without me, even though it looks like it already has.

I will not let anyone else make me feel guilty for taking time out for myself. They will never understand exactly what I am experiencing, the pain I feel, the exhaustion that I feel. They will never understand the fear that I feel when my symptoms creep up on me, and land me flat on my back.

I promise not to feel sorry for myself when I am feeling bad, because there are a lot of people out there who are in worse shape than I am. I will not be sorry for what I don't have, but be thankful for what I do have.

I promise to learn a lesson from my illness, which is not to take life for granted. I will try to enjoy every moment that was given to me, and be thankful for the times I can smile and laugh.

I will try to help others who also suffer from my condition. There are many confused and frightened people who need to hear comforting words from someone who has been there. There are many people who need me to take his or her hand, and be pointed in the right

Lastly, I will not ask "Why me?" While PTC has weakened my physical body, it has strengthened my heart, my soul, and my spirit.
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Thanks for the advice. I now have a plan: I'm going to switch dr's. (a friend told me about one that seems to be much better), see if they can give me stronger meds due to extra anxiety, and bring a relaxing cd along because the whole thing takes around 20 minutes.

I seriously do not know what my problem is. I have been through this before, and I am really getting annoyed with myself. Besides in my experience mental pain is a lot worse than physical pain. Now I have a week to sit around and do nothing but feel awful and wait to have this done. :evil:
Thanks terri*! So I have full permission to whine? Really I have good news, I have been reading online and I am seeing that plenty of people take xanax before.

Can't wait for this week to be over. My head feels like it's going to explode and I am so nervous. :shock:
I knew you took your wand with you (don't worry I won't tell, besides I took the shoes). :wink: lol people are really going to be wondering what I am talking about.

whine time...
I HATE needles with a passion. The medical profession really needs to come up with a better way of doing things. I feel like hell right now and it just sucks. I can't do anything. I went to look at furniture with my mom and I fell on the way in. :oops:

Thanks for letting me whine, I think I am all done for now.
Maybe I went way to far looking for information about spinal taps. I have completely freaked myself out. I was 15 last time I went through this and it was horribly painful. It wasn't as scarey last time because I wasn't aware that it would be so awful. I have found all of these horrible stories and possible complications while looking for information. I am sobbing all over my keyboard and I just don't want to go through this. I DONT WANT TO DO IT!!! (I know pity party, but it's my whine corner, and I am so scared).
Yes I am trying to focus on the benefits and that is helping quite a bit. Taking my sweet little niece with me (she wants to be a dr. when she grows up, so it is very interesting for her). Having her there will keep me very calm because she will get scared if I do. No worries now, I will be just fine. Thank you for the support, very much appreciated.
I go in Monday morning at 4:30 a.m.! (I hate mornings), but I get to leave around 1:30. I kind of wish it was over with. I am so bored and I can't do much of anything.

My cd list thus far is:
enya- not sure of the name and I am to lazy to get up and look. I think it's paint the sky with stars or stars in your syes, something to do with stars.
Jack Johnson- not sure which one yet. Inbetween dreams, Brushfire fairytales, or On and On.
Trying to think of more and I am open to any suggestions. :wink:
Well... it wasnt nearly as I had annticipated (of course). All is done and I am just fine. Was such a wreck before my sweet little niece was wiping my tears and telling me to be strong. Kids are amazing. Our minds create mountains out of molehiles! Yes it hurt but of course my anxiety made me think I would be paralyzed after it was over. :roll: Anyways a bit sore headache is terrible, but its all over :D
you all so very nice. :)

Jack Johnson- you should check him out if you enjoy mellow music. Not quite like enya, but still mellow and I love the words. My two fave songs are No Other Way, and Better Together.

The lyrics to Better Together always make me smile:

There is no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia tone loving

Love is the answer
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here and where do we go
And how come it's so hard
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

Mmm, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments just might find a way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too, too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeah, it's always better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together (mmm)

I believe in memories, they look so, so pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up, you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together
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