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725 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  fingertingle
It feels like I have no time to do anything. Life is just work and sleep. But there is time between work and sleep, not much, but still there is time. But I can't seem to do anything except come on this site, sleep, or eat.

This weekend I attempted to spend my time on something worthwhile. I brought all these books to my boyfriend's house. Stuff on how to manage your time, how to get the career you want, how to buy farmland(its a goal of mine), and how to make candles/soaps etc. Something I've always wanted to do. I want to start my own business and live on a farm. Maybe it sounds crazy but whatever.

Anyways, I just couldn't concentrate. I couldn't read any of the books. The only books I can finish these days are about serial killers and people with other mental illnesses. I ended up balancing my checkbook and then getting drunk.

How will I ever accomplish any goals?
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Seems to be a pattern. I'm finding I can't do anything but sort of lethargically stumble around and obsess about the nature of reality and existence. Fun times.
I seem to have somewhat the same problem. I eat, sleep, go to class, stess about getting work done, stress about my impending court trial, try to contemplate existence and morals, take 20 minutes to get the work done that I should have spent hours on and repeat. I have no time for anything else.

It is such a self destructive rut. I always plan to do things better and write down what i should do, but never do it.

The only thing I can think of is to just dive in and try to get a drop of fulfillment out of life, but it is hard. One of these days I will emancipate myself from this mental slavery... somehow. I keep think that trying to live in the most simple, pure and true fassion will break this chain. How to go about this and how to logically engrain it into my complicated poop-pile of a life, I have not figured out yet.

I keep telling myself the corny nike slogan, "Just Do It!" but thats the very problem, I can't or just don't.

Sorry i'm ranting, but it helps me. Best of luck to peacedove, scattered, myself and all of those with the same problem.
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