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I'm realizing that my relationships with other people say more about me than I do. I can take a step back and pin point every time I do or say something to another person looking for a specific response in the. And then I can go a step further and figure out the feelings I had beforehand that made me CRAVE this response. Finally I can figure out what caused these feelings in the first place. For example:

My first year at college I used to buy a big group of people pizza on nights that everyone went out. One time I didn't even get a slice myself. People would say how kind it was that I did that. They next day, they would forget I did that for them. So why did I buy everyone pizza?
I was people pleasing. I wanted people to think I was kind and giving so they would be my friend. Now what went on in my head the nights that I wasn't out with people? I was really scared and lonely. I didn't have many friends and I wondered how so many people did have friends. And those friends didn't give away free pizza. But it went even deeper than that! I had a subconscious craving for friends beyond what was healthy. This pairs with a subconscious need for love. Maybe I didn't get enough from a parent? Idk that's the stuff I'm working on right now (though I'm certain what is aid was true)

So anyway, I think it helps to look at your relationships with others. It gives you a clear view of what you're looking for in life!
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