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Well, let's start with this: I'm crazy. I have been for my entire life. Depression and anxiety have plagued me for years, sucking me into the deep, dark crevice between my sanity and, let's say, lack of. I have tried to end my life twice: once in middle school and the second two weeks ago. I just couldn't take it anymore. I want to feel here again. It's like there are two pieces of me, the outer shell and the inner core. The outer shell is the one who does everything without letting the inside know until the inside sees it happening. I have no idea how to describe it and because of that there is no validation in the medical community. I would just like some validation, I want to know that it isn't all in my head. I need help.

I have been writing a lot more lately, mostly about how I feel.

You say you understand,
but you have no idea.
When words are not enough
to express this feeling-
this feeling of emptiness,
this feeling that I don't belong.
My body rejects my mind and I feel the void
grow stronger with each quickened breath,
each sharp intake
of the putrid smog we call life.


These hands,
I do not own;
these words,
are not my own.
The outer shell
walks alone,
as the core of me
stands unknown.

Jaw Entertainment Electric blue Event Darkness

May 01 2012 08:55 PM

I totally get what you are describing.

Nose Head Eye Eyebrow Human body

May 17 2012 03:30 PM

dont give up on yourself ! :'(

Nose Head Eye Eyebrow Human body

May 17 2012 03:34 PM

this is all in your head and its up to you if your going to let it take over your life you have to try to distract yourself do things that make you happy hang out with me ppl who you make you smile go to therapy , YOU ARE NOT CRAZZY ! you just giving up on yourself TRY NOT TOO ! , im telling you cuz i know the feeling your not alone keep this is mind GOOD luck :'(
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