Hi, I wanted to know if there's someone else like this, or if there's someone that could just help me out with some advice. I'm a 19 year old, gay male who has a almost severe reaction to on-screen nudity. My heart starts to race and I become majorly depressed, most times suicidal, for no reason at all. I started reacting like this about 4 years ago when I saw the ESPN body issue magazine. It has grown into such a severe condition that I haven't been to the movie theater in almost 2 years because I feel as I don't want to run into nudity.To make things worse VH1 has a show coming out next month with couples in the nude called "Dating Naked", and I am so scared to see that day. I'm scared that I will commit suicide because of this since nudity is becoming more common, and I can't run away from it.
Also, I am a webcam model for Streamates and get complements from other men seeing me naked every day. I do not believe that this problem comes from me being uncomfortable with my body because I'm completely fine with being naked and showing my body. I have never had penetrative sex or had a boyfriend, but mess around quite a lot orally with other guys which kind of has been something I cant help myself with for the past 3 years. At 16 I was doing anything to sneak out the house to see older men and mess around, which I feel I was doing as an alternative to drinking or smoking to forget about my problems..
I know its a long read but please help! I'd greatly appreciate it. THANKS!