You nailed it with the post "The Emptiness of Peace" Finally someone spoke about something that I experience when Im doing OK and recovering. This constant underying streaming thought that you are not real. I was thinking that could it be possible that my mind is in such shock from these thoughts over the past few years that the thought of peace and relaxation seem like a threat to my mind? I started having the anxiety, thoughts, etc end of senior year in high school. Now im 25. I forget what life was like pre-senior year. Also whenever I think about something from the past (before my problems started) or when I visit places that I know well, the DR kicks in and my mind freaks out that I was once normal and that I never had this before. As you said, the idea of %100 peace and relaxation seems like it is impossible to acheive. How can this be overcome? How to we rid of this thought that tells you you are nothing and most of all, when this thought comes along, how do you convince yourself that it is a delusion and not obsess about it?
I cant believe someone brought up the key question I was always asking myself.