[Johqnnq]

I feel so hopeless. Everyday i just spend my time feeling frustrated and im wasting my time. I do everything wrong. I feel too distracted. Im only avoiding and runing away from myself.
Its too hard...
I have already made it better until it gets bad again. Im confused about everythimg.
When you feel normal ofc u dont ask ur insanity.
But when u are ztate like this. You are guestoning it all the time. Trying and trying to understand.
I feel like nothing can really help me especially doctors and meds. Because then im just kind of pretending. I dont know how to explain it. But when im trying to do something like this i feel its so fake.
But i just see life is too hard.. I live half alive. Im not even conscious most of the time. But my mind is crazy. It tries to make sense of everything.
Im sure my years will go like this. I feel nothing can really happen.

 

[solus]

Johqnnq,

I have read a lot of your posts. You write very lucidly, and some of your posts are almost poetic. But a lot of them are SO bloody negative. :mrgreen: You make Schopenhauer look like Richard Simmons after a Tony Robbins seminar. If your everyday self-talk is half as negative as this, I'm not surprised you feel so hopeless.

I'm not blaming you. My thoughts during dp/dr were pessimistic (maybe a little less than you). I was in deepest despair, with that niggling fear that I would never escape because I could not forget what I had seen and that this state was just the new normal for me.

I know now everybody can be free of it. In chronic cases, it's clear what you need to do, and it's mostly common sense. Are you doing those things? You said in another post that you spend a lot of time staring at your phone or the TV with a vacant mind. I think smartphones and TV can be a great for distraction during difficult moments, but what you need is active, direct, consistent engagement with the world and others. That will kick your brain back into its normal state. Not instantly of course, but be patient. If you're doing the right things, give it two to six months and you can be free of dp/dr forever.

Your self-talk really must be transformed. You're seeing in black and white, and then ignoring the white.

Language is the basis of our thought and shapes our perceptions. It is astonishingly powerful. It's not just words. If you change your language you change your perception of reality. If you realize when the questions you're asking aren't really questions but nonsense, you won't torment yourself with them. Any change might feel fake and artificial at first, but then it becomes habit and a part of you.

There's nothing wrong with your mind. You're not crazy. Quite the opposite. ;-)

Take care

I feel so hopeless. Everyday i just spend my time feeling frustrated and im wasting my time. I do everything wrong. I feel too distracted. Im only avoiding and runing away from myself.
Its too hard...
I have already made it better until it gets bad again. Im confused about everythimg.
When you feel normal ofc u dont ask ur insanity.
But when u are ztate like this. You are guestoning it all the time. Trying and trying to understand.
I feel like nothing can really help me especially doctors and meds. Because then im just kind of pretending. I dont know how to explain it. But when im trying to do something like this i feel its so fake.
But i just see life is too hard.. I live half alive. Im not even conscious most of the time. But my mind is crazy. It tries to make sense of everything.
Im sure my years will go like this. I feel nothing can really happen.

 

[Johqnnq]

I know exactly what u mean.
Im writing here because im wanting relief.
But im doing the wrong thing just coming here and saying how bad my life is.
Its not gonna give me any relief... I only start to get even more bad.